Birthday party etiquette in year 1

[Liverpoolhev]

Hi,
My son is going into year 1 in September and will be 6 in February. He's been to quite a few whole class parties during the last 2 terms of his reception year. I didn't do him a big party this year as he was still quite shy and hadn't yet experienced a class party but he has really enjoyed the ones he went to and has asked for a party with school friends for his 6th birthday. I've saved up for this and plan to hold it in local soft play - no problem.

My question is do people still do whole class parties in year one? I've heard the parties start to get smaller once they get more established friendship groups. I do know that one little summer born girl from his class has had a pamper party just for the girls in the class. He has a group of 3 kids he regularly plays with (2 boys 1 girl) and another few boys he sometimes plays with. But I feel partly we've been to other's parties so should reciprocate and also friends may change again and I'd hate to leave anyone out. The max I can invite is 30 which would mean excluding his cousins and some family friends (quite a few with siblings who would expect to all be invited or none at all as we are friends with the whole family) I'm thinking maybe to invite the whole class knowing that probably only half will come (also his birthday is the first Saturday in half term) and then invite his 3 cousins too and just explain to family friends it's not possible to invite them this year as doing a class party (will be the first and last of this size I think!) my mum has made a few comments though as she often takes him to play with a family who have 3 kids abs I know she'd ideally want them to come but then I'd need to invite others in the same social circle (church) Please don't suggest hiring a hall so I can invite more kids I did that for his second birthday and it was a massive effort catering for them all and keeping them entertained 🤣 I think I just want confirmation that inviting whole class in year 1 is not weird!

standard etiquette is to pick one of these -

a) whole class (30 kids +)
b) just the boys / just the girls (15 kids ish)
b) less than half the class (10 from school)

Add on cousins and out of school friends to any of these.

the only options that are rude are to invite all the class except 1 or 2 kids, or to invite all the boys except 1 or 2 kids because those kids will almost certainly hear about the party and feel left out.

If siblings are not invited or if parents must pay for the siblings then state that clearly on the invite so you don't get CF parents who drop of the birthday friend + 3 siblings and expect you to mind them all

e.g. invite says 'please pay on the door for any siblings who wish to join the soft play'

Also, people can be really bad at giving proper RSVPs. Not sure what the solution is but don't be surprised if you don't get replies.

Thank you for this ahh yes the RSVP thing is giving me anxiety already

My son also year 1. And in his school. They only invite their child best friends.

we did softplay party too and i ask my son who he wants to invite. He mentions 10 names so i only invite those kids.

my son also been invited in some of his friends party and some are not. So i think its depends who your kid want to invite.

its will be expensive to invite whole class to softplay.

My daughter is in between year 2 and year 3, so half of Foundation and most of Year 1 was affected by COVID issues with large gatherings. This might make our experience a bit atypical.

it’s been a mix of smaller groups to whole class parties throughout the 3 years. We did a whole class party this year as she hadn’t had one in either of the two previous years.

We’d oreviiusly done family celebrations separate to friends, as my family would expect the party to be designed to be enjoyable for them, not for young children. When we had limited numbers last year, we had a smaller low-key gathering for her friends outside school.