Broody but “can’t” have another

[Emily0000]

Hi, I’m new here and just wanted some advice. I’m sorry it’s long but I’d appreciate if anyone could hear me out and offer some guidance.

I have a 4 year old daughter and have had bouts of feeling broody probably since she was about 2 but it’s come and gone away quickly. This time, I just can’t shake the feeling of wanting another.

At the moment, I feel like I’m surrounded by pregnant people and babies and my daughter is so amazing around my family and friends’ babies. I just know she’d make the best big sister. She seems to have a better bond with some of them than their own siblings do. My daughter is also about to go to reception in September so it feels like she’s growing up and I think all of this mixed together is what’s making me want another.

The problem is, I’m in no position whatsoever to have another. I apologise to anyone that may be offended by me saying I “can’t” have one, because as far as I’m aware I technically could. But as of last year I became a single mother, suddenly full time childcare meant I was better off financially not working (I know it sounds terrible) so I had to quit and I moved into a small 2 bedroom house as it was cheaper. To be fair, quitting my job made me realise how much I hated it so I’ve spent the last 6 months studying for a childcare college course while my daughter has been in nursery part time and I’m about to start training in a nursery in September when my daughter starts school full time.

Put simply, I’m struggling financially, making steps towards doing something I love rather than staying in a dead end job and I physically have no room in my house for another. My daughters dad and I have been seeing eachother again and taking things slow, but he has brought the idea up simply because he would prefer the age gap between siblings to be smaller. I want to be more logical than that.

To add, despite being broody I don’t know if I actually EVER want another. I had a difficult pregnancy, a horrible labour that ended in an emergency c section and above all I’d rather put all of my efforts and finances into raising one child and giving her the best chance at success than just have another for the sake of giving her a sibling.

Everything’s telling me I shouldn’t, but why can’t I shake this feeling? Does anyone have any tips on just forgetting about it and moving past it? Thank you.

Dont know if I have anything helpful to say but just wanted to say I really hear where you’re coming from. I think sometimes the broody is a) hormones and b) the expectation society seems to have that we’ll have more than one child.

It sounds as if a lot of your head is coming down on the side of one and done being the right thing and for what it’s worth I think that’s important to listen to. Sounds like you’re starting to get your feet under you again - I guess the question would be could you manage with 2 financially, emotionally if things don’t work out with your partner, etc?

If it helps at all, I am intermittently extremely broody for a second despite having a medical condition that makes it absolute suicide to have another. What I’m saying is that sometimes hormones are no respecters of what is actually the right and sensible thing and therefore shouldn’t necessarily be relied on!