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Original poster

Financial implications of having a 2nd

27 replies

ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:12

Hello,

We currently have 1 child and are unsure if we should have a 2nd. Both of us would like to have another, but our main reservation is financial.

Sticking with 1 child we will be able to start building some savings now that they are getting the free childcare hours as our childcare costs are set to plummet. By the time our child is a teenager we will be financially comfortable and can help with uni costs if they wanted to study.

If we have a 2nd child then we will be unable to save much over the next 5 years due to a combo of maternity leave/childcare costs and potentially me dropping to part time for a year or so while they are young. However there is a good chance my husband could get promoted which would mean we could afford the extra childcare costs more easily. Of course he might not, and age isn’t on my side so can’t necessarily wait until he gets promoted to start TTC.

I would love a 2nd and the only thing giving me reservations is the financial side. Anyone been in a similar position and able to share how they came to a decision?

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quietnightmare · 17/05/2022 22:14

It's the things we don't do we regret. If you can afford another child and it's what both your hearts want then the answer is staring you on the face

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:17

we can’t afford another based on current salaries. However we could afford another of my hubby’s earnings increase.

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Original poster
ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:17

*if

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Digestive28 · 17/05/2022 22:22

Once you’ve taken a hit with one, two isn’t so bad. Three is another step. That is, you’ve already got all the baby’s stuff.
for what it is worth I didn’t really notice money differences when they are small as everyone is doing cheap things like a trip to the park. The difference was more noticeable when older when others going to theme parks and holidays and clubs - by then it sounds like you will be in a better place anyway

declutteringmymind · 17/05/2022 22:22

It depends what you means
By 'afford'. Does it mean the difference between eating and heating or not, or not having a foreign holiday?

I would give up foreign holidays, and wear second hand clothes for a second child. I wouldn't however put myself in a situation where I can feed my family half decent food, or be able to pick them up from school once a week.

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:45

It’s the childcare bill I’d be concerned about. It is about £1,200 a month for nursery around here before the free hours kick in.

I’d definitely notice £1,200 a month!!!

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Original poster
ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:49

@declutteringmymind hmm good point. Probably somewhere between the two. We would need to skip holidays for a couple of years, and also we would need to be careful with spending on things like activities and swimming lessons. Would also need to get cheaper kids shoes etc where as just now I buy the ones my child likes and that fit best, where as I’d need to consider budget for things like this quite heavily. Right now he does 2 sports and I don’t need to
worry when he needs new shoes/kit for these.

we would be able to eat and hear the house tho.

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NamechangeFML · 17/05/2022 22:54

Werw having 1 DC as i grew up poor and want to give my DC everything as opposed to have 2 and skimp or tell Dc "no" all the time.

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 17/05/2022 22:55

@NamechangeFML interesting, thanks for sharing. I can see the sense in what you say and I think it’s where we will end up.

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sundayweatherwatch · 17/05/2022 23:29

How old are you OP?

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 07:20

38

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Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 07:21

I know it’s possible for people to have kids after 40, but personally I wouldn’t want to.

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Justkeeppedaling · 18/05/2022 07:29

I think having a sibling by your side as your parents get older is invaluable, and particularly as you are older parents. If you can afford it, I'd have the second now, before you're 40.

We took the financial hit in the short term knowing DCs wouldn't notice hand me downs, cheap hols etc. As they got older our salaries increased and our financial situation improved.

NamechangeFML · 18/05/2022 08:07

@Justkeeppedaling aye but not everyone gets on with their adult siblings :(

OP , if youre finaces will probably get better, and you dont do a holiday for a few years - id consider it, if i was you ? We all got through the pandemic with a bit less money and no holidays?
my finances definitely wont get better, so thsts why we ll stick to one.

how was your chromosomes abnormalities test the last time? I tested 1/60 at 37(!) so thst was another factor for me-what on earth would we do if it was higher this time.
i just am thankful DC was ok.

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 08:11

@NamechangeFML it was tiny, can’t remember what it was, nothing noteworthy

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NamechangeFML · 18/05/2022 08:18

ah well thats good to hear !

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 08:20

True, I had t even considered that.

I feel like arguing against any one who suggests I should have a 2nd on here 🙈🙈 so perhaps that means I don’t really want one. Ahh!! Such a horrible decision to make. I change my mind daily. Wish I could just decide then make peace with it.

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NamechangeFML · 18/05/2022 09:37

Haha well theres your answer. Youve a year or two before it comes to the crunch. Maybe once this ones in school f/t itll seem more doable. But nothing wrong with wanting to have a comfortable life!

  • i was an only child and it has pros. I have a hals sibling in my teens but tbh theyre a different generation than me so its not like i was benefiting from it apart from endless babysitting
sundayweatherwatch · 18/05/2022 13:19

ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 08:20

True, I had t even considered that.

I feel like arguing against any one who suggests I should have a 2nd on here 🙈🙈 so perhaps that means I don’t really want one. Ahh!! Such a horrible decision to make. I change my mind daily. Wish I could just decide then make peace with it.

Your child will be fine as an only, if that's the best decision for you. I understand the indecision. Been there! Just turned 42 so it is too late for me (had first at your age).

There's a couple of Facebook groups I'd recommend. One and done on the fence and one and done - parents of an only child by choice.

sundayweatherwatch · 18/05/2022 13:23

researchaddict.com/second-child/

Some food for thought x

sundayweatherwatch · 18/05/2022 13:26

And this researchaddict.com/only-child-effects/

motogirl · 18/05/2022 14:05

Children can't be quantified by cost, a second child doesn't cost double one child but is significant - you need to work out what you want from the heard not just money. Are you concerned about looking after 2 kids and justifying that with money? If you desire a second child just go for it, if you don't just stick with one

Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 16:41

@motogirl I’m concerned with not being able to afford childcare without sacrificing financial security for our family. We have no savings and Finally in a position where we can start to save a little each month, but not if we have a 2nd 😬 yes money isn’t everything but it is important to us to feel comfortable. It’s a tough decision

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Original poster
ShuffleCase · 18/05/2022 16:42

@sundayweatherwatch thanks I’ll take a look at those groups. Thanks for sharing

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