If i find parenting so hard why do i feel broody?

[malificent7]

I love my dd but it has been hard. I had her alone....absent dad and there is so much that i found tricky but not the obvious nappies and sleep.
For me i found the hardest things:

competitive birthing ( i had a csection)

Competetive parenting in general.( why was everyone else desperate to have more when i felt trapped with 1?)
Ill children...found it very tough with chicken pox etc
Career death.
Loss of freedom.
Teen years ....dd is hilarious but also v anxious and has had panic attacks.

However dd has overcome her anxiety enough 9pm to do a d of e weekend...very proud. She is funny and outgoing.

I have been with dp 7 years, we are engaged...due to marry. I am 44 so pushing it fertility wise.

I went to see my friends newborn baby yesterday and she was lovely. I don't feel jealous but i did feel broody. I did roll my eyes when she went on about anazing natural birth is though...im not sure i could cope with mums droning on about that shite at baby groups.

I have only just got my career on track but not enjoying the job loads. The money is ok though.

But dp is a great dad to my my dd and dsdd. I feel it's now or never. The increases prospect of birth defects freaks me out though.

How amazing*

I think your body does a last gasp for fertility around your age. It's a common thing to feel broody when you're getting closer to the end of your fertile years.

Should i act on it though ?

Hormones.

I definitely do not want more kids, but pre-ovulation the primal part of my brain totally forgets that!

A lot of the things you list drive me mad too, but you can swerve a lot of them. They’re not all compulsory or inherent parts of parenting.

The point is if you squeezed another one in before the final whistle, it would be a completely different experience, with a different partner, more life experience, and probably more money available.

So forget last time round. The only question is do you really want another 18 year plus parenting experience? With your fiancé.

' I did roll my eyes when she went on about anazing natural birth is though...im not sure i could cope with mums droning on about that shite at baby groups. '

I didn't go in for any of the baby groups or books or Facebook pages or any of that with my second. No listening to people waffling about natural birth and sodding weaning guidelines. Just me, relaxed and trusting my instincts, and my happy baby. Bliss.

Vaginal birth is overrated. As an older mum, the risk would not just be of birth defects but of complications and injuries to you. As an older mum giving birth vaginally for the first time you would have a higher risk of complications like obstetric anal sphincter injuries from a bad tear or prolapses.

These things are not talked about enough as people don't want to scare pregnant women, but I wish I had considered a c section.

There's sooo much to say about feeling broody, at any age, really. Your original post points out three things: you have a supportive partner , you could still conceive and childbirth 1 was hard. (But childbirth is always hard whichever way it pans out) so the real question is, do you want another child? As for possible abnormalities, I apologise if I am offending here, but there are excellent tests available to check for possible maternal-age related abnormalities and decide what next.

The other question that's relevant to all of us, I reckon, is 'what does it feel like to be broody'. Does it interfere with out moods? Does it screw up our lives?

I've seen that happen to people in their late twenties without children who don't know what they want, more than people who have had a kid or two and are suddenly feeling the urge all over again. What do other people think?

I think the defination of broody has no limit age wise. You could feel broody at 60.

I can relate to feeling broody and finding parenting tough... especially the loss of freedom. In your shoes there's absolutely no way I would start again at 44? My aunt did it... and she forget how tiring the school run was and she was crying to my mum about it!

Do you want to do a school run at nearly 50?

Mother nature defies all logic. Otherwise the human race would be wiped out. IMHO.

Hormones. Hormones don't care how hard you found it or indeed if you'd find it even worse next time. They just want you to procreate at all cost.

Do you want to go back to the beginning and be turning 50 as your child starts primary school?