My 2 year old is asking about her absent father. What do I do?

[HiKelsey]

My 2.5 year old has started noticing she doesn't have a "daddy". It's me and her and I have a boyfriend who doesn't live with us.

Bit of background-
DD dad (my ex husband) fractured her ribs when she was 6 weeks old. He never told anyone, he knew he'd hurt her and I didn't know any different as she was a very unsettled baby due to undiagnosed allergies and reflux. Anyway we went through family courts and worked with SS, ex decided he wanted nothing to do with her once I didn't take him for anything in the divorce. Family court immediately gave me a child arrangement order and no contact order against ex so he can't contact me or her till she's 18.

She's now noticing other people have "Daddy's" and I don't allow her to call me boyfriend Daddy as I don't want to confuse her. Is there any books to explain this? SS told me to do words and pictures but I feel like showing her pictures of my ex will confuse her more right now

[SparkleSpangle]

Your daddy was silly so we don't see him. Straight forward, jolly language, no distressing details.

It's how I explained why we don't see my alcoholic father to DD and she was fine with it. Still is aged 10 although I do elaborate slightly now she's older.

[ShineTogether]

I grew up without a daddy. Due to rough stuff albeit not as bad as you and DD. It wasn't peaches and cream of course but I knew no different. Simple but honest language was helpful, like:
Me and daddy are divorced.
Daddy lives in (insert town) and we don't see him.

The things that negatively impacted me were statements like:
Daddy is a sh*t

Just keep it factual

Wishing you and DD luck and love

[AliceMcK]

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

[EmmaMaya]

I agree with the advice of simple and factual.

Good luck OP x

[HiKelsey]

Thank you everyone! I don't want (or anyone) to say anything against her dad until she's old enough to read the reports and facts. I don't think it's fair on her to make him out to be a bad dad because that's my opinion, I want her to come to her own conclusion. Thank you all for your advice x

[PromisesMeanNothingSue]

@AliceMcK

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

I’d go with something like this.

I don’t think ‘silly’ is the right term to use, as it’s a word that gets used a lot around young children and you don’t want them thinking that if someone does something silly then we never see them again.

[Prettynails]

@AliceMcK

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

Say exactly this -nothing else.

I hope your EX pays CMS and I hope when she is old enough you can sit down with a counsellor and talk her through what happened.

[Finchgold]

Keep it factual but simple and add more detail gradually as she grows more able to understand.