My 2 year old is asking about her absent father. What do I do?

[HiKelsey]

My 2.5 year old has started noticing she doesn't have a "daddy". It's me and her and I have a boyfriend who doesn't live with us.

Bit of background-
DD dad (my ex husband) fractured her ribs when she was 6 weeks old. He never told anyone, he knew he'd hurt her and I didn't know any different as she was a very unsettled baby due to undiagnosed allergies and reflux. Anyway we went through family courts and worked with SS, ex decided he wanted nothing to do with her once I didn't take him for anything in the divorce. Family court immediately gave me a child arrangement order and no contact order against ex so he can't contact me or her till she's 18.

She's now noticing other people have "Daddy's" and I don't allow her to call me boyfriend Daddy as I don't want to confuse her. Is there any books to explain this? SS told me to do words and pictures but I feel like showing her pictures of my ex will confuse her more right now

Your daddy was silly so we don't see him. Straight forward, jolly language, no distressing details.

It's how I explained why we don't see my alcoholic father to DD and she was fine with it. Still is aged 10 although I do elaborate slightly now she's older.

I grew up without a daddy. Due to rough stuff albeit not as bad as you and DD. It wasn't peaches and cream of course but I knew no different. Simple but honest language was helpful, like:
Me and daddy are divorced.
Daddy lives in (insert town) and we don't see him.

The things that negatively impacted me were statements like:
Daddy is a sh*t

Just keep it factual

Wishing you and DD luck and love

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

I agree with the advice of simple and factual.

Good luck OP x

Thank you everyone! I don't want (or anyone) to say anything against her dad until she's old enough to read the reports and facts. I don't think it's fair on her to make him out to be a bad dad because that's my opinion, I want her to come to her own conclusion. Thank you all for your advice x

@AliceMcK

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

I’d go with something like this.

I don’t think ‘silly’ is the right term to use, as it’s a word that gets used a lot around young children and you don’t want them thinking that if someone does something silly then we never see them again.

@AliceMcK

So sorry about what happened to your baby girl.

I’d say something like some people don’t have Daddy’s just mummy’s, some people have 2 daddy’s and no mummy’s, some people have 2 mummy’s and no daddy’s, everybody is different, but you have a mummy and x (your bf ) and other family members that love you.

Say exactly this -nothing else.

I hope your EX pays CMS and I hope when she is old enough you can sit down with a counsellor and talk her through what happened.

Keep it factual but simple and add more detail gradually as she grows more able to understand.