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One-child families

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When to have a second child ?

2 replies

mamatoizzywizzy · 18/01/2022 08:10

I have a little girl who is soon to be turning 3.
We have had a really emotionally tough time since her birth (hasn't everyone with covid though !!) the first year was tough pre covid just with coping with a very highly strung new born snd getting to grips with being a mum , and then the following two years were tough because of covid restrictions- isolation, working from home for both me and my husband- spending every waking second together, losing identity within motherhood but also other life factors like not seeing anyone or doing anything - the longer I didn't take time for me the harder it has been to begin . We are moving house soon so we have the space to live and work at home which we are hoping will help in terms of the close proximity to one another .

I want to want another child but I long to find myself again first and be happy and comfortable in my own identity. I fear if I had a second anytime soon it would be for the sake of giving my daughter a sibling alone and my mental health would take a deeper nose dive. Apart from anything a screaming newborn in the same house as my husband trying to work would just be too much (once we've moved hopefully not so much of an impact , but it's hard to imagine anything else now most of our daughters life we've been living and working in a tiny environment )

Am I naive for thinking I'll find who I am again before having a second ? Does anyone else feel like this ?

OP posts:
WolfMother326 · 19/01/2022 16:09

Hi there. Just wanted to say all your feelings are valid. Your daughter will be happy with or without a sibling. If I were you, I'd take 6 months or a year to settle into the new place and see how you feel. Take some time to yourself whenever you can- get back to a hobby or make a point of doing something solo for self care, even if it's just a regular bubble bath etc. If you are this burnt out pregnancy and newborn phase will be hard. Give yourself a break from thinking about it and see how you feel on the other side of a new house etc. Also, don't be afraid to ask for more help (nursery, babysitting or relatives if possible) or even talking to gp or a therapist.
Sending you strength ♡

mamabear24601 · 19/01/2022 21:10

@WolfMother326 thank you for your kind words I so appreciate them.

Xxxx

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