Emotions

[dood09]

Hey ladies, looking for some advice…

I have a almost 2 year old but i so desperately am ready to start trying for another baby but my partner doesn’t want to for at least a few years if at all. I feel so sad, whenever friends announce pregnancies I can’t help but feel jealous, and then I feel like the most awful person for feeling that way, how do you deal with these emotions?🥺

Bump

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In the same position except it's pretty much a no forever. We have been to couples counselling which has really helped us to be able to talk to each other and understand each others perspectives. It has also allowed me to be more free with my emotions about it with my husband so I'm able to let it out. It's essentially a grief process like any other. I'm also trying to think about the positives of having an only child for her, for me and for our marriage and we are working together to build a new 'dream'. The old one was really just mine which isn't how a family should be.

My boss said something really pertinent to me today (in relation to this topic). He said we all spend our lives looking for distractions from the fact that we are going to inevitably die. These are different at different times of your life like getting exam grades, job progression, marriage, kids, grandkids, retirement but we all do it. So rather than spending your life dreaming and working towards something or having expectations of the future, try to just focus on what you have right here and now. That way you'll never be disappointed or feel like you have failed. That's not to say don't have goals, but make them less important than enjoying your life right now. And that pretty much describes how I'm trying to handle this. I'm trying to focus on what I have and all the positives that brings. But I'm also allowing myself to grieve what I feel I'm loosing which is important too.

@Respectfulparent

In the same position except it's pretty much a no forever. We have been to couples counselling which has really helped us to be able to talk to each other and understand each others perspectives. It has also allowed me to be more free with my emotions about it with my husband so I'm able to let it out. It's essentially a grief process like any other. I'm also trying to think about the positives of having an only child for her, for me and for our marriage and we are working together to build a new 'dream'. The old one was really just mine which isn't how a family should be.

My boss said something really pertinent to me today (in relation to this topic). He said we all spend our lives looking for distractions from the fact that we are going to inevitably die. These are different at different times of your life like getting exam grades, job progression, marriage, kids, grandkids, retirement but we all do it. So rather than spending your life dreaming and working towards something or having expectations of the future, try to just focus on what you have right here and now. That way you'll never be disappointed or feel like you have failed. That's not to say don't have goals, but make them less important than enjoying your life right now. And that pretty much describes how I'm trying to handle this. I'm trying to focus on what I have and all the positives that brings. But I'm also allowing myself to grieve what I feel I'm loosing which is important too.

Wow this is really great advice, I hope you manage to come to terms with not having another child, it's so hard isn't it, we will get there :)