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[Froggles1]

Hi everyone,

I dont know if this is the best section to post tgis but I feel I need to get it all down!

I have one child (DS almost 4). Me & my partner naturally dote on him. He is mostly well- behaved; sleeping wise he likes to jump in with us in middle of night but this isnt an issue as he just sleeps!

My partner is fine having one but is open to having another (but I think if I said I didnt want to he’d ve absolutely fine with that)

I’m not on contraception although I do track my periods so I know roughly when I should be fertile. We dont have loads of sex (sorry tmi!) mainly I havent had much libido lately (I think linked to anxiety). We have unofficially ‘tried’ but nothing has happened in 5 months.

The thing is - we like our life and we can spoil DS. He never mentions a sibling but we have a puppy who he adores. I just find life so chaotic juggling work, school runs and trying to exercise/see friends, that I cant see how another would fit in equally, every month when my period arrives I felt a bit gutted. Any time I hear someone is pregnant I feel a pang of longing. I'm just so confused and at 34 feel like I can't keep being on the fence. Can anyone relate?

@Froggles1.. I just came across your post and see no one has replied. Basically my situation was the same but because I didn't have much time for a 2nd as I had DS at nearly 41, i had no choice but to accept the situation as it was.
DS was a terrible sleeper and we were so exhausted for so long. I was too tired to even contemplate another! Then we ttc but only occasionally and time went on and suddenly it was too late. Also we were never in the right situation to have kids and it just happened when we were renting and wanted our own house which didn't happen for ages.
I think your partner sounds amazing as he is open to having another and is even ok if you decided not to. My DH is like this to an extent but it was me who was always more undecided at the beginning. Now I'm so glad we had DS otherwise we would have no DCs and would have prob split up.
I will say having one is special because you get to focus solely on him/her. There's no sibling rivalry and it's much more affordable..and better for the planet. But if you are trying then deep down you want another. I would have loved another as I loved being pregnant! At 34 you have time on your side so I'd say carry on as you are!
Good luck.
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You sound exactly like me!

I also have a 4yo son and am completely on the fence about having another one.

I'm quite happy just the 3 of us, we only have a 2 bed house and can't afford anything bigger.
But I do have this niggling doubt - I still have all his old baby clothes/toys/equipment "just in case". I feel under some (personal) pressure to give him a sibling as he has no cousins and we only have a small family.

I'm also not on contraception, we try and be "careful" around my fertile days (we also don't have much sex I'm always too tired haha).

If I had another one I wouldn't want much more of an age gap than now so honestly if I don't change my mind and get off the fence in the next 6-12 months I feel like I need to accept I'm only having the one child and clear out my loft of baby stuff!

@BooseysMom@mogkat

Thank you for your replies. Going to see what the next year brings but good to know others relate 😘