10 year age gap!!

[NCForthisxox]

I was 20 when I had DD, me and OH have been together for 11 years, she's now 8 thriving but I've started getting the urge to have another baby I qualify next year as a nurse we are moving to a 4 bed house. DD will be around 10 when this new baby is born and I will be 30. Am I mad ? I will have my life back when I'm 40 if I choose to stop at one we are happy comfortable as it is but I can't get the thought out of my head.

If you and DH both want to have another then why not? There's no perfect family set up.

One of my friends has around 10 years between them and one of their siblings. They have a good relationship, though a different relationship to the siblings who are closer in age.

My sister is 10 years older than me. We have always had a great relationship. My DM always says that having a spread of ages stopped her obsessing over unnecessary things; when DSis had GCSE's, I was starting school, when I was leaving home, DSis was having first child etc.
10 years would have been my ideal age gap but, unfortunately, I left starting a family too late for that to be an option.

There's 16 years between me and my sister and we've always got on! It's been wonderful. Although, it's important to note that I never lived with her, but saw her regularly.

There's 7 years (almost 8) between me and my younger brother, we've mostly got along, a bit of bickering but always ended in giggles and never the arguments that my friends were having with their siblings. I think that bigger age gaps can be a blessing!

My DD has 2 older siblings who are my SC. They all get on really well. A bigger age gap has some advantages, children are at different life stages, won't argue over toys, etc. But you do need to be mindful of their different needs and interests and make space for your older kids too. DSC have been excellent baby sitters too!

Your assuming child won’t need you when they’re 20! Good luck with that thought. Chances are they’ll be around you for another 5 or so years

Ha ha twistmyolive, my youngest still with me at 30! I found the two with large gap got on better than the ones with traditional 2 year gap, in fact he's on his way round for tea with his brother as we speak! That happens 4-5 times a week.......... Could be my cooking🤔😂

Baby due when son turns 12 😬
I imagine it will be like having two only children and I’m a bit scared that the next however many years will mean I don’t have a life. Also will be 34!

Mine are 21, 16, 3 and 18 months, older 2 love the little ones, the mess and endless noise not so much.....

I have a 13yo, 3yo, 10 week old. Definitely done now, but it's brilliant! Would do the whole thing all over again just the same. I also had my first at 20.

It is full on but awesome.

I think for me, the thought of going back to having a newborn after so long would be a no-no and I would worry (at young ages) whether we could do things as a family that both would enjoy with such a gap. However, you're still very young so crack on if you want to!

I am from a large family with lots of siblings, think nearing double numbers!
Two of my youngest sibling are 14 to 19 years younger than me.
I have a different kind of relationship with them than my siblings who are closer in age than me. I have more of a nurturing element in the relationship with my younger siblings. That said, it's a lovely relationship, we squabble, laugh, tease each other and are close. Very much a loving sibling relationship .

I had a surprise one 10 years later... I'm a much better and chilled parent than the first time round!

I would add that I really adore the newborn phase and toddler phase. If I didn't then the juxtaposition with that and entering teens might not have been as enjoyable. It feels like an enormous privilege to be able to (in a way) go back and relive those years while of course being fascinating because they are different babies, different people.

I never wanted an only child. DS1 will always have aspects of only-child-dom anyway but he has absolutely thrived from having the younger two around and loves them. I always felt guilty for not giving him a sibling closer in age. Now I think that the gap benefited him in some ways too.

As someone else said I find I'm pretty chilled compared to other first timers, perhaps because I have that long term perspective and know that the exact week they roll or start solids or whatever doesn't actually matter that much. And that they will eventually sleep. I had a bit of experience, although I'd forgotten loads and of course what works with one doesn't always work with the next.

It was surprisingly emotional for me seeing the contrast in how people recieved the news that I was expecting. That dragged up some old hurt that I had no idea was there.

I have an 18, 16, 4 and 2 year old. It works really well for us. 18 and 4 are best friends 😅

I've got a 10 year gap!

Ds 12 is from my first marriage and Dd is from this relationship she's 2.

Every one was very surprised when I got pregnant at 39, and had her at 40.

Ds helps with her, and I didn't have to worry about a toddler running around in those early day.

I have a nearly 10 year gap. I’m so happy I did it as it’s lovely being a bigger family. However, it does have its challenges. Dealing with the teenage years and toddler tantrums at the same time was the hardest parenting experience I have had!