How do you discuss your choice with other people?

[Ygritte84]

DH only wants one (80% sure, well). I am an only myself and would probably like a sibling for DD, however I could live with a family of three. Lots of discussions going on, DH seems to be pretty sure that's what he wants, I feel a pang of sadness if this is final.

As it happens, we ended up living in a fairly traditional English village where everyone has two or even three children. At the moment, all I seem to do is going to baby showers and congratulating friends on their second children. The question inevitably arises, "when are you having another?". I am finding it very uncomfortable to bring up the topic of one-child families, as I know people will feel sorry for my daughter. So I don't bring it up and it lingers, but by now everyone must think we must have fertility problems and it is uncomfortable anyways.

How did you discuss your choice with other people, and deal with the reactions? I

I've never had to discuss it with anyone else, why should I?

Never discussed it with anyone. If I was asked I’d say I wanted more kids but the first pregnancy made me so ill I couldn’t face doing it again.

And I've never had any feeling that anyone was in the least sorry for my DD, rather the contrary if anything.

Why is it anyone else’s business?

Funnily enough no one has ever asked me when im having number 2
And now my dc is 6 i expect it wont happen now.
But if someone did say "when are you having number 2" id probably say oh probably never and leave it at that

I have more than 1 and did ask a friend one time without thinking this question might make her uncomfortable. She put me in my place saying I an annoyed voice "one is more than enough for us" ! Never questioned people again after that hint ( unless very close friends /they brought it up etc) You could do the same. No need to be polite or apologetic!

I had this. People automatically assume your circumstances and its not out of malice.

I just used to make excuses that I was busy and so on... we didn't have time.

Truth is my circumstances were not great and it was bloody hard work as the majority was left to me! So whilst I didn't rule out having a 2nd I don't think I felt ready until DS started school.

I used to get asked it a lot, and just had a stock phrase of 'oh, ds is quite enough to deal with!' which I trotted out and changed the subject quickly. It does stop when they are about 7 though