DD constantly saying she's bored and lonely.

[Rosieandjim04]

DD who is 8 constantly says she's bored and lonely . She plays with the neighbours children everyday has sleepovers. She has just been on a PGL activity break and as soon as she's come back she's gone to play out again. we have done trips to the zoo, cinema offered to take her to holiday club which has declined.
She keeps asking for siblings but I don't want anymore children the age gap is too big but I'm running myself ragged trying to fit in her days with constant activities tell me it gets better?!!

I have 4 middle child is 8 and constantly tells me he’s bored/lonely despite play dates, activities, holiday club, older and younger siblings to play with 2 years apart so of an age.

Honestly it’s a phase, an annoying long lived phased.

There was a ted talk where it said when one kid asked for something you’d say no but when another asked you’d say yes. Not because they’re you’re favourite but because they will keep asking annoyingly forever more. Maybe you’re child is used to you giving in so is keeping going with her tried, tested, highly successful strategy. Grey rock, not discussing this, stop asking. Rinse and repeat.

She needs to learn to entertain herself. I say that as an only child myself.

Totally agree with @GoodnightGrandma, as an only child and mum of an only child.

Not sure how best to teach that skill mind you. I've always been perfectly happy with my own company. Dd is more sociable but that's coincided with her getting older so being able to get out and meet up with people off her own back.

I do think a little benign neglect can be a very positive thing.

Bored and lonely are too totally different things. It sounds like she can’t entertain herself and always wants outside stimulation. I’d increase the ‘boredom’ time and suggest things she can do in it.

If you can be lonely in a crowd then you can sure as hell be lonely with siblings - and considering she’s so social it doesn’t sound like it’s a lack of social contact. More the boredom thing

Remind her that even if you got pregnant today it would be several years at least before she had an actual playmate.

Would you consider getting a pet? Only if that's a commitment you're willing and able to make of course, but that might help.

It's a phase. She is old enough, she needs to learn to amuse herself.
She could draw or read or paint, or there are endless instruction videos on YouTube. She could learn to stencil her bedroom or knit. Give her a few garden pots and some radish and spring onion seeds. Buy her some bird feeders and show her how to use the zoom on her camera.
Can she cycle or join a dance class or martial arts? But she has to be bored to spark her interest rather than you spoon feeding her all the time.

She needs to learn to entertain herself and build good friendships. 8 is old enough to do that.

I have an older brother and a younger brother. We got along fine, but we had (and have) different interests, different friends and we did not tag along with each other. In no way were my brothers a solution to boredom or loneliness, and nor did my parents expect solve those issues for me, except by telling me to find something to do or else it would be housework.

Is it a summer holiday thing? Could be that it isn't a lack of siblings as such, she just is ready to go back to school.

I'm sure if she had a sibling she would probably say she wish she was an only child some days!

You have possibly gone overboard on trying to make sure she is entertained all the time, she needs to learn to entertain herself. Even siblings have to do that, they don't play with each other all the time especially if they have different interests/age gaps/friends

I'm one of seven and I was very lonely around that age. I really felt if I had had a twin that everything would have been fine. I have an only child now, i think you can feel lonely at points even if you're surrounded by people

8 is a funny age.

They are just beginning to see the full landscape of emotions rather than just feeling what they feel in the moment. Explore all the ‘what if’s.

I have seen so many posts on MN over the years from anguished parents if 8 year olds saying ‘I wish I was dead’ and similar . This is the age when if I was told off and sent to my room I would picture myself throwing myself out of my window, thinking ‘they’ll be sorry when I am gone’

People say a lot about only children being bored and lonely, and she may well have heard it and be living up to the stereotype.

Her life as described by you sounds a long way from bored and lonely.

From ages 8 to about 14 all the kids in our group congregated at the house with no younger siblings to bug them.

While the younger siblings grouped together as friends to avoid bossy elders.

Just keep being a great parent, setting up friends and family opportunities. And don’t take on any guilt.