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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

I only want one child.

11 replies

PennyDreadful66 · 22/06/2021 18:13

Is that so wrong? I have a five month old son and he's everything to me, pregnancy was hard, the baby stage was hard (tbf my dad died and my mum has learning disabilities). I don't fancy doing it again, I'm starting to like older baby stage and planning our future together (holidays, activities etc I know it's a bit soon but it's not set in stone or anything) plus I'm a bit selfish and want to be able to spend time with my DH too - is this wrong? Will my son suffer for it? I keep telling myself I'm doing it for him and all the right reason and I'm an only child myself and loved it but he's not me, I just feel like one child families can be seen as unusual. I think I'm just over thinking but I don't know, is there many cons to only one child?

OP posts:

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Tuberoses · 22/06/2021 18:17

If anything he’ll benefit from being an only. He’ll get all of the money, time and attention that would otherwise be split between siblings. It’s better for you too because you can actually have a life outside of childcare.

Ragwort · 22/06/2021 18:26

My DS (now 20) is an only DC, I have never had a single regret about not having any more DC, he is a perfectly happy, well balanced young man with a large circle of friends.... of course he may also have been a perfectly happy, well balanced young man with a wide circle of friends and a sibling or two - who knows ?

He's never said that he would have liked a sibling, I think he realises there are quite a few benefits to being an only DC.

Micemakingclothes · 22/06/2021 18:59

I love having an only and now that she is older she is very happy being an only. We have so many resources both in time and money that can all be dedicated to her. She has so many opportunities that just wouldn’t be available to a child with siblings.

I also had no desire no repeat a very difficult pregnancy or to have another very high needs infant.

LazyYogi · 22/06/2021 19:29

Personally I know quite a few families where the siblings don't talk so there's no guarantee they'll get on anyway.

MK19590 · 22/06/2021 19:41

Don't have a child that you don't want. I am an only child and it didn't do me any harm, and as a PP said I know of families where siblings are low/no contact with each other

Jojo19834 · 22/06/2021 19:45

Interesting post, my daughter is 10 months old and I LOVE our relationship, I spoil her, it’s all about her (and me) and really looking forward to us in the coming years. I don’t want another but have worried about the impact on her. Good to hear some positives

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 22/06/2021 19:45

definitely not wrong.

it can be heartbreaking to have "only" one for those who wanted more but can't for medical reasons. a lot of our friends were in this position and it was so sad but inevitable for them to accept there will be no more babies.

but if you are content with one and you stick with that number by choice then your family is complete & congratulations on that!❤

just because you are asking about cons I'll say that sometimes singletons do find it hard to share, wait, take turns with peers because they just don't need to ever do that at home.
but if you can be on top of it and make sure these skills are required from your child.

MrsMc15 · 05/07/2021 19:31

Hi - I posted a similar post last year about my worries that our little boy would by lonely as an only. There was some harsh yet some lovely comments made. I have thought on this so much in the last 12 months and I always come back to this - society almost dictates we should udk have more than one child, it's expectation and assumption that if you have a sibling you'll never be alone in the world. The truth is we all find our own in the world and mould the life we want and life that suits us and realistically siblings don't alter this path. It's an awful dilema though, I personally feel that down the line i may have regrets that we didn't give our son a sibling but we are all very content in life. We love and appreciate the wee life we have so if we feel fulfilled then why keep going out of fear our child needs this sibling as expected by society? I had a difficult pregnancy with our son and decided we would be one and done but then miscarried last year and I have given this topic so so much thought also. I so think time becomes a healer and you come to be at peace at your decision, we are slowly getting there. If you're all fulfilled and content with the life you have then that to me is enough. Hope my rant there makes sense, wishing you the best or luck whichever you decide x

applesarethebest · 11/08/2021 07:18

I'm glad I found this thread, my baby DS will be an only child due to risks to the baby in future pregnancies after complications with my first pregnancy.

This is an anecdote, not data, but one of my friends is an only child and she is so generous and giving - she says it's from not being made to share as a child! If you've had to share your stuff, her theory is that you'd be less likely to voluntarily share, which I thought was an interesting idea.

grey12 · 11/08/2021 07:38

PILs had many difficulties during/after DHs birth and ended up deciding not to have a 2nd child because of that. I must tell you they bitterly regret it. Make sure this is a decision you want and not because it seems "easier" now.

My favourite phase is 6-12 months

ValancyRedfern · 14/08/2021 16:51

I agree apples, all of my friends who are on lies are so kind and generous. My theory has always been that they didn't grow up fighting for things so they have a great gentleness about them, whereas I am a battle hardened one of four!

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