Tell me I've made the right decision

[HonkAndJimothyLtd]

I'm 39. I DC, 3yo. Lovely DH. Just started new career (NHS B5). Renting but looking to buy soon (have deposit, was waiting to qualify in new career). Very bad pre and post natal depression & anxiety. My saviours were my parents and in laws but they have developed bad health over the past 3 years so can't offer anything like the support they did before. No other family support. My heart says have another but my head says it's a bad idea.

What does the MN have mind think?

Why do you want a second? Because YOU want one or because you think you need to give you child a sibling? If you know why you are between the decisions it can help you to come to terms with either being one and done or not.

Dd is an only. I know for certain I don’t want any more children, although I do sometimes feel guilty Dd doesn’t have a sibling. However she needs me to be a good mum, and I know I wouldn’t be with another child. My mental health was shot to pieces after her birth, and I won’t risk it again. Plus she’s 4 so we’re coming out the other side of nursery fees and meltdowns and she’s getting a tiny bit more independence.

Thanks so much for responding. I think it's 50/50 me wanting another and wanting DC to have a sibling. Lots to ponder.

In your situation I would consider trying for second, but would mentally prepare myself for it not happening as 40 is my personal cut off. There's nothing wrong with having one child but it's obviously different when you actually one another. What does you DH think?

Can you and your husband make a pros and cons list to see if that helps?

I have one DS who is 7. Difficult birth anf first 18 months. I thought about a 2nd last year but covid and a family bereavement got in the way. Revisited the idea a couple of months ago and made a pros and cons list. For me, it made me realise that I was happy as we were,glad to be past the baby stage and able to focus on my career.

Obviously it may be different for you but the list may help you to decide.

I think you've got a wise head.

DC don't need or necessarily want a sibling.