Daughter almost 10 am i mad wanting another baby

[Hopingformydb]

Hi all I am TTC baby no 2 DD is 9 almost 10. Im nearly 30 (had her young) never been ready for another baby due to work,lifestyle, enjoyed our holidays as a family of 3, can spoil my DD. But deep down ive always wanted 2 children would love a boy so I've got 1 each. I just think though is it too much of an age gap?? Someone told me that after 4 years there no longer classed as siblings but two singular children and it upset me. Although I think it was just nastiness. Anyone had a 2nd child with a big gap? Thanks

Just had my second. There’s almost a 13 year age gap.

They both love each other and love playing together. I was worried they wouldn’t seem like siblings but they absolutely are.

Go for it OP.

My sister and I are 8 years apart. There are upsides and downsides, but I would never say we’re not siblings!

Downsides- She stole/wrecked a lot of my stuff when she was a toddler and I felt like no one was ever on my side because she was little. She missed me a lot when I went away to uni when she was 10. We both missed having more typical sibling things- like when she was 11/12ish we started getting matching things in our Christmas stockings (bath bombs, stationary etc) and we were both SO excited because we’d both always wanted matching stuff like “normal” sistets but had never had the same interests.

Upsides- We have never argued! No sibling rivalry at all and we’re close now that we’re both in our twenties. I enjoyed being the “cool older sister” and my sister benefitted a lot in her teen years getting advice from an adult who had been through it all relatively recently. Now of course I’m nearly 30 and a mum, so she’s the “cool” young uni student and aunt and I think she’s enjoying that now too!

We also used it to gang up on our parents a lot- I remember getting them to increase her pocket money by reminding them what they’d given me at the same age and arguing they had to account for 8 years of inflation on top xD I absolutely wouldn’t be without her

Why did you not try for another baby sooner.? What is your husband's view on this.

@riotlady sounds so lovely & @changethetoner I didn't want a baby until now

Do you want me to be honest or lie?

From my experience, I don't recommend.
It depends on your age - consider what your long term life plans/ goals are and how your children will be a huge part between you and them.
You will have one child at school when one leaves another one starts.
You will be raising children for at least a third of your life expectancy.
It is easy for some of us to take life for granted.
Personally, I never have yet I didn't plan any future because I gave up on having one for myself until recently.
We raise them and love them dearly and one day they will leave. What do we do then?

I have heard some rather bizarre arguments for having more than one child.

Sometimes you have to stick with what you know feels right.

Think wisely.

@Wotapolava I'm 29 so even by 45 I'll be "free" as in no need for childcare / school run. Id have a 25 and 16 year old. (If I was to get pregnant now with no2) I have been very lucky with my lifestyle and my DD has enjoyed a lovely life we've been everywhere however i just feel like ill regret it if i don't do it now. I realise it'll be starting again but I'll still be young enough to enjoy life after raising children totally get where you're coming from though 😁

My sister is 8 years older than me and we are definitely siblings! During my teenage years she moved out so I had a bit more of an only child experience then, which I actually enjoyed and became closer to my parents as a result. Now we're adults we're much closer and both have children the same age. 8 years doesn't feel like much of a gap once you get over 30! Although I do like reminding her she's older than me!
The age gap meant we both kind of developed seperate relationships with my parents. I think maybe I got the best of both worlds as I had a sibling but also got to live the life of an only child when I was a teenager!
The age gap seems pretty irrelevant now we have our own kids and we support each other alot with child care etc.