1 or 2 help?

[Bittersweet12]

Put this on another topic but feel it fits better here

A bit of a taboo subject so bare with and don't judge.
So i have one child, who I gave birth to in may last year. Absolutely wasn't planned but loved so dearly. The absolute centre of my world she is so loved and everything to both me and my partner.
We had always said we had wanted more children, but planned a little bit of an age gap but not to big, surprisingly I have fell pregnant yet again, my child is 8 months old and I just don't know how I feel or what to do.
I know termination is a taboo subject but I don't know if that's the right thing for us to do.
I have such a mix of emotions, but If I was not to go ahead with the pregnancy I am certain I wouldn't want anymore in the future leaving DD an only child which I don't know how to feel about that either!
My DD is a spoilt rotten, not to blow our own trumpets but she has everything and more I could possibly want her to have, my parents spoil her rotten to, and obviously with a second we wouldn't be able to do that the way we do now.
I know it's normal to feel guilt on how you would love another child the way you love your first, but I just feel like maybe I haven't had enough time with just her alone first? I feel maybe I would be forcing her to be a older sibling when she's still very much a baby herself, I feel there is pressure on me to have her sleeping through sooner moved on her own room ect because of a new baby.
My parents have always said they would be making her a bedroom at there house for sleep overs with dd, but she hasn't had chance to even do that yet due to her not sleeping though yet and I didn't want her to sleep out without sleeping though and I think they meant more of when she was a toddler to of course.
So my question is you was an only child how did that feel for you? Did you wish you had siblings? And if you have had 1 child and are staying at that why? And If you have had more than the 1 why as well? Sorry this ended up so long I am just so confused right now

I was in a similar situation as you op. DS1 is an IVF baby and I unexpectedly fell pregnant with DS2 when DS1 was only 9 months old

It was planned, I was very shocked and I too felt guilty for not having enough time just with DS1. I felt like I’d robbed him of the 1-2-1 time

Once I got over the shock and the fact I was going to be having them only 18months apart I began to look forward to it.

I’d always wanted more than 1, just not that close. However it’s been a blessing in disguise, it means they’ve been able to share a lot of things, don’t have to store clothes as long for the second child etc and they’re starting to play really well together. I’m hoping that the close age gap means they’ll be firm friends.

I don’t regret having them that close and it means the awkward stages are out of the way together (although some days it is hard)

*wasnt planned, not was planned

Ds was 6 when dd was born. Granted its the other end of the spectrum and a large age gap. I love her dearly but i really struggle splitting my time and attention between them both. Having a second has slowed down our plans and ability to buy a bigger house and childcare is a nightmare. Ds routinely feels left out and excluded. Im exhausted juggling part time shift work which is nights, awake all day and juggling them both. I dont regret dd for a second but our lives were alot easier with just the one. Dh was supposed to approach the gp about the snip but hasn't and if we had an accidental pregnancy now, dd is now a year old, i think a termination would be my choice, despite how hard i would find it. I doubt my capabilities as a parent to two, i dont think i am able to parent any more