DS asked to be a brother

[Twilightstarbright]

I've been crying on and off all day about it (he's at preschool). My Drs advised against another pregnancy and I've struggled with one child so don't feel I'd cope with another, plus significant health challenges. I just feel so sad.

If it helps, next door's little boy begged to be a brother for 2 years, and then spent the next 2 decades telling his parents they ruined his life by having another kid.

You know your risks and what you can cope with. Don't let the whim of a toddler make you feel bad, but take time to grieve if you need to.

Twighlight its ok to be sad about it, this isnt what you maybe planned or had in mind so of course its natural to be sad, especially when your precious boy says something like that, it must be heartbreaking.
Deep down though, you've made the decision to not have any more children for the right reasons based on medical advice and other factors, so let yourself be sad for a bit but then also be confident you've made the right choice for your son and your family, and focus on the positives of a 1 child family.

My DS asked for a big brother at that age, there was nothing I could do about that.

Please don't distress yourself too much, next week he might want a puppy or a horse.

I don't mean to minimise your feelings because it's obviously very raw and painful for you, but I'm sure he'll have just as happy a life being a doted on son with an obviously very caring and loving mother. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you all. Feeling better about it today and know that I'm very lucky to have one lovely child.

DS desperately wanted a brother at that age. But not a baby brother, he wanted a 3yo brother he could play with.

And it was all my fault in the first place because I'd only gone and got him a little sister instead. It didn't change my plans but we did pause and wonder if we were doing the right thing not to try for one more.

It's natural to wonder if it will affect their happiness that much, but try not to take it to heart. A lot of his cohort will be getting younger siblings right now so that will definitely influence him, but remember that a lot of his friends in his peer group won't - there will be other only children, youngest children and kids whose parents have split or found they can't pay for two sets of childcare at the same time and their family plans are disrupted or delayed due to that.

So a new baby is a bit of a status symbol for the kids too, as they are rare events which take a long time to come about. Sometimes kids are honestly just interested in the novelty and bragging rights of "Harry has a new baby and is now a big brother!" but it won't last.

Keep on parenting with love and good humour. It will be ok.

My daughter really wanted me to have another baby when she was about four but due to having had breast cancer when she was two, there was no way I was going to risk another pregnancy. It would be lovely to give her a sibling but she needs a healthy mother more. She’s now 10 and a delight and during lockdown I have thanked my luck stars frequently that we’ve just got her. All my friends with more than one child, seemed to spend their days stopping ww3 breaking out! Hugs xx