Will having a baby harm my teenager?

[notanotherjigsawpiece]

Hi I would really appreciate some impartial advice. I have a 15 year old DD and remarried 6 years ago. DD gets on ok with her stepdad but would probably prefer it if he was not around. There haven’t been any problems but she was used to it just being the 2 of us for so long.

I have just found out I’m pregnant which is very unexpected, and I’ll be 43 when the baby is born. DD would have loved a sibling when she was younger, but has said in recent years she would hate the idea. I’m worried sick about how this will affect her, in case she feels left out or that DH and I have created a “second family.” I would make sure that the baby has the same surname as DD and I (DH and I agreed this years ago if we ever had any children). Another factor is that DH has a health condition that is likely life limiting (eg within next 10 years). I earn enough that I could still support us comfortably though we’d have to cut back on a few luxuries.

Has anyone any advice about this? I’m so torn about what to do

Tell her, be honest, 13 years between my 2. They fight, argue, get on, just like normal siblings. At the end of the day it was my choice to have 2 kids, if my eldest had disapproved it would have been too bad.

Thanks Windowlene, I just have this awful feeling of guilt but I realise I’m probably being ridiculous

My dd is 12 and I have just had a baby. I'm 43. She loves him and has been very maternal towards him. You need to work on her relationship with your dp though otherwise she could feel very pushed out in favour of your "new family".