Anyone had this? I’ll try and cut the long story short!
So my pregnancy was easy, no symptoms, no sickness, I absolutely loved it until we started having growth scans to find my placenta wasn’t working, I was given steroids and told at my 33 weeks growth scan that baby would be here in 7 days, to then be told just to have scan and Doppler a every week but baby would need to come by c-section as contractions on the cord would starve the baby. So my anxiety is a mess, the c-section happens it was medically a better than average procedure I lost less than average amount of blood, incision never got infected I was a ‘great example’ - except my mental health, my anxiety was just in complete overdrive. I was worried I would die, I jumped a lot during the spinal and thought I’d do damage, I didn’t want to move ever again afterwards, I cried constantly at home not being able to move, worried about sepsis, my incision opening. It was honestly the most horrendous time of my life and I cannot fathom ever going through that again.
Come 7/8 months later my brain now realises nothing bad happened, I am fine, DD is fine. Start loving the idea of having another baby, start to slowly mention it to DP that I’d like another soon. DD is 9 months old now.
My period is late, by a week. Instant regret and fear and absolutely no plans at all to go ahead with it if I was because, and I don’t want to sounds morbid, I’m genuinely concerned that if I have to go through another c section or stress of complications with baby I’m worried I’d just kill myself. I cannot fathom ever having another child again.
This is why I’ve 98% decided DD is going to be an only child.
Anyone else have only one for similar reasons?