WWYD?

[hellosunshine5]

Hi everyone,

Just had some great responses to my first ever post so I’m pushing my luck and doing another on the same night

I had my only DS when I was 17. I’m 25 now and he’s 8 in May.

Me and his Dad were together at the time but things ended pretty messily when DS was 18 months old and I’ve been a single parent ever since.

I come from a big blended (?) family with lots of brothers and sisters in a variety of forms (full, step, half) and really value the sibling relationships that I have! I know that I would have had a much more boring and lonely childhood without them.

So...I obviously want my DS to have the same, but realistically I don’t want to have another baby and logistically it’s not even possible right now as I don’t have a partner, so I’m torn.

Even if I was to get pregnant tomorrow there would still be a nearly 9 year age gap anyway, so what sort of relationship would they have?

Think I’m just rambling now sorry, but I really don’t want my DS to resent me later for not having any siblings to share his life with.

WWYD?

There’s 9 years between me and my youngest sister. It’s not an issue. Age gap is less obvious now we’re older. I had to muck in a lot to help look after her though when I was in my late teens and she was at primary when my mum was building her career, if you don’t want that for your child, plan well.

Think I’m just rambling now sorry, but I really don’t want my DS to resent me later for not having any siblings to share his life with.

This is exactly what i fear for my DS. Atm he's completely fine and dandy being an only but as we're much older my fear is him having to cope alone when we get old and die. I come from a big family but they are all incredibly selfish and divided from each other due to a huge family dispute. My one hope was that never happens to DS. We fully intended to have another but for so many reasons it never happened and here we are knocking on the door of 50 with a young child and i have nightmares of him being alone one day.
At 28 you have time to maybe find your perfect partner. Age difference i don't think matters as hopefully no matter what they'll be there for each other. Don't have regrets like me. Good luck x

Sorry, 25 not 28! I added you 3 years there!!

You could meet someone with children your DS age or close to, I don’t think there’s any ‘wrong’ age gap.

My only sibling was born when I was 10.5! Obviously we have a different sort of sibling relationship- he was a little kid when I was a teen - but frankly we never knew any different.

There’s nothing wrong with being an only child either, and I can’t imagine any child ever growing up to resent their parent for not giving them a sibling. Not all sibling relationships are happy and close anyway.

@Haworthia.. i'm not the OP but wanted to say thank you for the lovely words which are helping me to feel less guilty

Glad my perspective helped a bit @BooseysMom. I know I would been happy as an only child, and in many ways I still was an only child because my sibling and I grew up one after the other rather than together. Not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing - we don’t know any different.

@Haworthia..very true. I was an only child too and i had dogs when i was growing up so wasn't interested in other kids! It's just the future i worry about but then so does everyone no matter how many DCs they have