How did you know you were definitely done having children?

[Yesterdayforgotten]

Hi, I realise this isn't a one child family thread but i was unsure where else to post it.
I have 2 dc and although I always wanted 3 I have decided I can't have any more. DC2 is only afew months old and I'm just starting to sleep longer blocks and I am really pleased pregnancy is firmly behind me (not to sound ungrateful but I am alot happier when the baby is born and had two traumatic experiences). I have however been upset deep down that this is my last child but at the same time I know I cannot go through pregnancy again and I'm looking forward to the next stage of my life and watching my dc grow. I know I'm getting too old, financially a third child would not be plausible and I cannot mentally do it again especially with the sleep deprivation at the beginning. Therefore I have lots of reasons for not wanting a third baby. But why does it feel so painful and like my clock is ticking and I need to squeeze another child in? Does that feeling ever go away no matter how many children you have? I know in my head I dont want another child but I keep getting a 'this is it' feeling and then worrying is it really and what if I'm making a mistake and then it is too late.

Split up from exh when ds was a tiny baby, always thought I would have 2 dc. When met my dp he told me he had had a vasectomy. My reaction to this was "thank fuck" that was when I knew I was done!

@willowpatterns so sorry, that must have been unbelievably tough. I hope one day you have lots of grandchildren too. I count myself lucky that I have got to choose how many dc I have had.

It was a ‘head over heart’ decision for us.

I had imagined having three or four children, but we both knew after DC2 we were done for lots of very sensible reasons including health (I was very, very unwell during pregnancy), finances (all kinds of related reasons - the impact of yet more mat leave on my career, more childcare fees, needing a bigger home/car, not being able to provide such a good lifestyle when stretched more thinly..) and DH’s age (he was 44 when youngest was born and felt that was his limit).

I was 30 when I had DC2 and even now in my early 40s I still feel intense broodiness, especially around the time I ovulate. But I know it’s a sort of hormonal madness and I know we made the right decision (now my kids are teens I am so, so glad we didn’t have any more!).

If I remind myself properly of the reality of raising young children I am actually filled with horror at the thought of ever having to do it again. I looked after a 5 yr old relative recently and I was shattered. I also spent the weekend with a relative and get 2 yr old and it was a stark reminder of how hard it is. Glad to be out of that bubble.

@DrummerGal I guess it just never goes away. I suppose when i started this thread i wanted somebody to say 'oh i felt like that too but it passed!' Arrgghhh looks like I'm stuck with this feeling than...oh well.
It is like all the sensible reasons go out of the window and I think I'm approaching my mid thirties and could squeeze in a 3rd dc and have dc2&3 close together and they will be in similar stages so it wont make a difference so I won't really be going backwards! Only I know deep down a 3rd would infact make a huge difference and I cant do it again! I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old so a 5 year old to me seems so much easier right now! I can't imagine how great it will feel when the relentlesness passes and to get full nights of sleep!

@Yesterdayforgotten Thank you, you too

I knew I was done when I was late with my period and was absolutely petrified my test would come back positive!