I'm 38, DH is 45 and we have an 11yo daughter.
DH is an only child. His dad died in the summer and just prior to that he started making "having another baby" noises. He did quiet down but this week alone he has hinted at having another baby 3 times!
I really don't know whether I want another, I feel like I'm just starting to get my life back. Dd started secondary school in Sept and has become so independent since then that I feel I can have some time to myself.
I also feel like I'm too old to start over again. Even if I was able to conceive at the earliest opportunity I'll be 58 with an 18yo and I don't want to be confused as their Nana!
I also don't see how we could possibly afford a second child. We both work full time with a mortgage and everyday debts and I can't see where the extra cash for clothes, nappies and future costs will appear from.
I am so confused about the whole thing and I feel incredibly guilty. With DH being an only child he knows what it feels like to grow up without a sibling and he obviously doesn't want that for DD. I'm the oldest of 3 so I've never experienced the loneliness and isolation that he says he felt growing up (even though he lots of friends).
I KNOW having a child for my husband's sake is completely the wrong thing to do and I sometimes wonder what it would be like snuggling up with a newborn. I've been reminiscing with DD about when she was a toddler and we used to dance and sing along to silly songs etc but then I think of the next 18+ years where I will be responsible for this other being and I feel so torn. Argh!