What is wrong with me that I'm not broody at all?

[kevintheorangecarrot]

Everyone I know has more than 2-3 children now. I am the only one with 1 child. He is almost 4 and I still do not want anymore. I don't have a single broody bone in my body! Everyone I know had a baby and soon after, they decided they wanted another one! For me.. the thought of having another child just makes me feel like I will have a nervous breakdown.

In a thread I posted, I had a pregnancy scare (thankfully I am not and I will be going on contraception next week. Appointment booked!) I was thinking up all sorts of scenarios in my head that if I ended up having another child, I'd rather run away than deal with it... really bad I know! My reasons, mainly are:

1. Financial
2. Sleep deprivation
3. No patience
4. I am introverted so I like having time to myself. When He has gone to bed. That's my time. I don't have to deal with anymore children after that
5. Saving money on childcare costs

So many more I guess I'd have to think about them!

Nothing wrong with you at all. Many parents at our school have one child, through choice or circumstances. So what? You don't have to justify it.

@Pipandmum I know, I do find a lot of people asking me don't you want another one when he goes to school? You'll be bored! What's wrong with having more? He will be lonely! My eyes just roll lol. I said I will not have time to be bored as I am working and also doing an OU degree. I enjoy doing my crocheting in my spare time as well.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting more than one child, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting multiple children.

If you're happy with one, that's all that matters.

Same here OP I only have 1, she’ll be 4 in summer and while I love babies I don’t have that urge for another. Thankfully she’s happy being an only, I guess being in nursery full time helps with that.
We also like our time in the evening, the ease of going out with only 1, being able to travel etc
Have to admit though I will be so upset when she starts school and she’s no longer my ‘baby’

Nothing is wrong with you at all

I have an only by choice. Wasn't going to have any, then I found out I was 27 weeks pregnant.
I was never bloody or clucky, even now I run from babies. Hate the crying and drool
I refuse to endure pregnancy and birth again. The baby toddler stage damn near killed me mentally
I love sleeping in, am an introvert who needs silence and me time just to feel human.
Money, space, I refuse to give up my WWE display room.
I simply wouldn't cope with a 2nd
It's so much better now dd is 9 and much more independent

Oh the lonely comment, what crap. We spend too long with dd cousins and she begging to get home to silence.

I know plenty of women who have never wanted aNy children. It is absolutely fine to not want more than 1 child. It is always ok to want/not want things OP. You don't owe anyone an explanation. There are plenty of people on the planet

I'm an adult only child & I'm not lonely. I had a great childhood so no regrets from me. Hope it will be the same for your DS

It's no ones business but yours I hate it when people ask others when they are having another , how do they know what those parents have gone through to have one child , I think it's insensitive and bit rude tbh.

Same here, OP - I haven’t felt a twinge of broodiness since having my DD four and a half years ago. Not even when cuddling her very cute younger cousins. The only reason I’ve contemplated having another is out of guilt, which doesn’t seem a sensible reason to bring a new person into the world. We’re all different - as another poster noted, some people never get the urge to have children at all!

I'm not broody at all. When I was told that my chances of conceiving were practically nil, and having a successful pregnancy even slimmer, all I saw was a world of child free opportunities opening up.

I did, in fact, get pregnant at 38, which ended in miscarriage, then at 41 which resulted in DD.

The thought of having lots of children makes me want to lie down in a darkened room. The drudgery, the child focussed activities, the lack of me time, and the stress of parenting a teenager. And currently, the expense of funding through university.

I have just had twins (DC3 & 4) and conceived at the same time as a friend decided definitively that she wasn't going to have a second. Her DD is the same age as my DD1 (5) and I must say, I look at her life right now and it seems like such a good decision on her part. It's so calm in their house, she can dedicate so much time to her DD whilst also getting time to herself. She spent a huge chunk of the summer holidays dedicating time to helping her DD with her hobby. They have even done a couple of weekend getaways in Europe over the last few months, just the two of them. These are all things I will never be able to do with my lot.

If it's right for you, then that's all that matters.

I didn't have my second child until my first was six. Just didn't want to at all (until I did). Anyway, people constantly asked about why I wasn't having a second one. I started answering by looking really solemn and saying "we are just so, so lucky to have our son". Wasn't a lie but made everyone think there was some medical issue and shut down the conversation. You don't have to explain. Your life, your body, your choice.

YANBU. I do actually have two DC, but my youngest is 4. I think this is the age they get much easier and as a parent, you get more time to yourself, can relax a little bit more and life gets less stressful. As well as child care bills getting a bit more reasonable. I couldn't think of anything worse than going back to the new born days now.

Everyone is different. Some people want lots of kids, some people know they only want one. Some people have one idea and then change their mind after having kids. Do what is right for you and your family, ignore everyone else.

Check out the Facebook group My First, My Last, My Everything. Lots of people on there feel the same way.

Children are hard work, if you don’t want one definitley don’t have one!

I have two as a knew I wanted more than one, but two really is very hard work. I’m an introvert two and my time to myself is almost zero!

Oldest DC is also 4 and getting easier by the day. I’ll be devastated when she goes to school, but have to say the thought of her playing by herself in a bedroom is very appealing.

My youngest is still a baby, and I love the bones of him, but it has pushed me to my limit at times. I always wanted three but don’t think we will.

Enjoy your DD!

Too not two 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm just like you OP, an introvert that craves personal space, love to crochet and do crafts etc.
When my DD was 4 I started to come round to the idea of giving her a sibling (that was my main reason for having a second child) DS was born with a disability, it's been a real struggle for me, he's now 4 and life is only just starting to get a little easier!
I am in no way broody to have any more children, 1-2 has always been more than enough for me.
My friend has 5 children, she thrives at being a mum and is always planning for the next baby, weeks after giving birth..that would be my worst nightmare!

Ours is an only and he's certainly not lonely. He's an outgoing and sociable young man, but also enjoys his own company.

As an only child myself I do find it quite amusing how some people will deride others for only having one child (they'll be selfish, they'll be lonely, they won't be able to interact with others) but then have awful relationships with their own siblings.

You don't need to justify your reasons for making the right choice for you.