Last chance to have a second baby

[Mumofone1593]

I found having a baby so hard, physically and mentally. I really couldn't enjoy the first year as I was so tired and drained and although I loved my son as soon as I said I was only having one child I felt a weight was lifted. I enjoyed him more and everything we do as I know he's my one and only and it could be my last time doing any of these things! (Before I'd always be depressed thinking I'd have to go through it all again).

BUT we have just realised that my pain flares only happen around my periods. With the condition I have it turns out that alot of people have hysterectomies and it helps to stop alot of the pain. It is appparently easy to get once you have had a child but obviously now I am thinking do I definitely never want another. Is anyone else in a similar situation and have any advice?

I haven't looked into it fully yet as it's only the last few days I've realised (no periods for two years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding). And this isn't a decision I am taking lightly, for one or two days a month during my period I cannot move, I can't eat and even breathing hurts, yesterday my jaw, hip and knee all dislocated simultaneously.

I was so happy having one and being done but now it could be a 100 percent decision I feel a bit weird? Just want advice from other one child families and their experiences with just the one!

I am also going to have just one ds, although I don't have the same reasons or health issues that you do, but if you're suffering that much and a hysterectomy would 'solve' it then I'd seriously consider sticking with your decision to have one child. Unless you and your DH really do want to have another and you're fairly sure that your condition won't be aggravated by another pregnancy... from an outsider non expert perspective, it just seems like getting better (even if it is a rather serious step of hysterectomy) would make a huge difference to your overall quality of life. But only if you're both happy with the decision. It's a very tough one to make though. Perhaps writing a list of pros and cons of each option would help? Or journaling to examine your feelings in more depth? Sounds so tough.

Oh OP that sounds awful. Do you have EDS? I am part of an online chronic pain and chronic illness group. If you would like details I can PM you, they may be the best people to talk to. It's a closed group so all private

Oh and I have one 8 yr old dd and it's fabulous. My pain condition means I just cannot bear the thought of doing it again. My SPD has never gone and as she's older now the gap would be huge and I feel much clearer about it

Have you looked into contraceptive options? On combined pill I am generally good, but pain all comes back with progesterone only or when no pill. You can often take it back to back for 3 months. Pilates and chiropractor really help. It might buy you a year or two to make the decision.

This explains it

Oh and three children so just wandered in here. All three pregnancies different with one I was on crutches for half the pregnancy but a subsequent one I was still walking 4 miles a day the week they were born. Kept SPD at bay with Pilates and chiropractor.