One and done? But not sure

[chied3]

I'm pretty sure we are one and done for loads of reasons

But my brain keeps playing out the future I imagined with 2 children

Sometimes I think it looks rosy other times I think oh no!

For example today I was thinking how lucky we are having just one child no more baby days with no sleep and stress. We can get up and do anything we want and it's good financially and for our relationship. Then I think but what if in the future our dc is lonely ( he is 7) but then I think he has loads of friends and we can have lots of social gatherings with his friends and their parents

Then I think what if in the future when dc is a teen/ young adult we are lonely! instead of this larger family I had imagined dc goes off and it's just me and dh. Then I think no dc might bring all his mates back and his girlfriend and we will have a great time

Then I think what about me.. would I like another baby and I think how gorgeous they are and how quickly our dc has grown up and how I would like to do that again and then I think but would I cope with all that again?

We are very blessed to have our one child but these niggles are very frustrating!

How do you make peace with it?

Good to hear from you @DieCryHate

I'm ok thanks but yes it was a horrible shock and very traumatic. Something that I hadn't even taken into account as a risk! I had expected a miscarriage ( stats are 1 in 2 at my age I think) but not this..

I have been trying to work out why it happened.. no risk factors and the gynae dr said it's just one of those things and unlucky

I don't know whether we will chance it again.. it's terrifying and in my darker movements after the op I thought it was fates way of punishing me for dithering for so long or sending me a very clear message that it wasn't meant to be and I was pushing my luck

But then I thought why did it let me conceive in the first place?

I now feel like I'm glad I tried even with what has gone on as if we don't try again I can say I gave it my best shot and that helps. If I hadn't tried at all I would have constant what ifs.

If we do try again at least I know I'm capable of getting pregnant ( or at least I was when I had two tubes!

I wish I had time to wait to make the decision .. a holiday sounds lovely .. but I fear I've run out of time...

How old are you if you don't mind me asking.. I m
pretty sure ectopics are not linked to age but I do worry

I've not had endo or pcos or smoke so can't understand why it's happened

Just seen this post and had to reply, I’m debating wether to try for no.3 I’m 39. My 2nd pregnancy was ectopic (ruptured cornual @ 6/7wks In) list my left tube and part of my uterus ;-( it happened on Halloween 2013, I conceived again 8 months later (my right tube worked it seems) and my miracle girl arrived safely on feb 11th 2016 by c-section. I still can’t beleive how blessed we are, the grey days after the ectopic will stay with me for life, I’m now debating wether to try for no.3 but im 39 nearly 40 with 1 Fallopian tube in tact and I don’t know if I can cope with another loss or any trauma x

So nice to hear of a happy ending @Sarahb39

Good luck with your decision x