Is this selfish?

[iknowtheanswertothis]

I know it is but just wanted to have it confirmed. I have one dc I have never really wanted another until now when I am at the end of my fertility.. life has always been busy and I have been fairly happy with my decision now I'm 42 and god I really really want another. DH does not.. understandably having listened to me say for years that I am one and done. He worries about all the usual stuff our age, increased chance of miscarriage, I have raised it with him tonight and he says it's very selfish of me to put this on him when he thought we were on the same page for years. I know it is .. but I can't shake this feeling.. must be hormonal I'm sure but I feel so sad that I didn't try years ago when dh would have gone for it

How old is DC? I don't think you're selfish at all. And also, for what it's worth life can be a lot easier with more than 1 DC

42 isn't old by the way!

When one partner want A baby and another doesn't.... the one who doesn't wins. You can force a child onto him and he's right; you've spent years agreeing that you don't want another. Don't expect him to change his mind.

Dc is nearly 6. I know I am being selfish.. I just can't turn off the feeling.. too late I know

It isn't too late. You're not too old and the gap isn't too big. Yes life is very easy with just one child when they're young, but thinking longer term it's lovely to have a sibling and they can entertain each other so you don't have to be their source of entertainment. It's hard though if you always agreed I guess. Perhaps it's just the natural feeling of knowing you won't have another and so feeling a bit of yearning. I have 3 and know I won't have another and don't want another but still feel a yearning for the baby days!

I think it's the realisation that there's no turning back that's suddenly hit me. Thought I was ok but now feeling wobbly ...

I think as we get closer to the fertility door closing, our hormones go a bit mad as it's getting close to last chance to add to the species! It's why older women are more likely to have twins as they release 2 eggs.
I have friends that have been through it, and most can now reflect that it was a manic phase and actually wasn't based on real desire to have more children.
However, most would also argue that when your child is here, you can't imagine never NOT wanting him or her. Only you can know how you feel about it.
I'm in similar position to you and I'm back and forth on this a lot!

Good to hear your friends have come through the other side and not felt huge regret!

I hope it's just a hormone thing and I can get over it!
Thanks for your comments hope you can make your mind too

Mind up!