So hard to want to change our lovely family, but...

[Expatworkingmum]

I always wanted multiple kids, as did my hubby.

My almost 6 year old is the most well behaved, lovely, easy little girl ever.

We have a wonderful life. We live overseas, we are financially comfortable, we go on lovely holidays and we’re just a happy, blessed little family. Neither DH or I have any desire to upset the equilibrium and change the dynamic that we love so much. DD has never asked for a sibling.

However, I worry about her excessively. Like A LOT. I’m always convinced something terrible will happen to her.

I often wonder if having another child is the answer. It would surely take the focus off of her and I perhaps wouldn’t worry so much about her.

On the other hand, is it really a good enough reason to have a second?

And what if I just have double the worry!!??

DH and I just go back and forth on this nonstop and neither of us can make a decision!

If I can be honest - I worry as much about DC1 as I did when she was an only child, but I worry about DC2 less. Not that I love DC2 any less but it's the second time around on all the stages and I'm more confident that things will be OK. But with DC1 I'm still a first-time parent as we face new challenges throughout childhood. So it's not double the worry but it's still much more than for an only child.

Brookshelly. That’s really interesting insight. I hadn’t considered that at all. Thank you.

You say you live overseas. Do you travel a lot? Different locations? Because the one thing I would be worried about is isolation. My DM was an only that travelled a lot and feels she doesn't have 'people'. I travelled as a child and was fine. We have an only and live overseas. And I do worry about what happens when she's older and doesn't have fixed people somewhere.

Do you have time on your side? If so wait and see how you feel in a year or 2 but then there will be a a big gap. If you had wanted another you probably would have tried by now

You sound like me I felt like we would have 2 but never really got round to it and was v happy with 1. Only really started feeling panicky this year as am nearly 42 so made me think are you sure???

I think I am but I feel sad about it too iyswim!

Good luck

It’s true about the worry getting less. Ds3 is almost feral.

BUT I worry about DS1 as much as ever, because he’s the first one doing it. By the time I get to the 3rd one, I know the other 2 survived...

MrsTerryPratcett - only one location so far but I wouldn’t rule out living anywhere else.

Yappity- I’m still in my early/mid 30s. Some people might say I have lots of time but others (certain judgemental friends) would disagree.