Sometimes I think about the fact that Im a family of two after me and my dds father fell out. I often think about how better things would be if she had a sibling to share things with. Sometimes I hear comments of others, saying having one is cruel to the child. Those comments hurt the most because my onlys birth left me unable to concieve another.
And then I think about our little gilmore girls esc dynamic and know I wouldnt change it for the world.
Last week we began the school holidays with a trip abroad with a friend and her lovely three kids. We often spend time together and her kids see us as extended family members. It was noisy and chaotic it involved finding things to do that got the kids out of our hair primarily because thats what my friend needed, help to wrangle her brood and a break from their kiddy drama. It left me feeling exhausted and somewhat empty. So I followed it up with a break for just me and dd. it was peacefull fun and interactive we hiked road roller coasters, talked and watched movies together it was a real bonding experience which she dubbed the best break ever.
It helped me see that being a parent of an only creates experiences that you just cant have with a larger group all demanding your attention at once. That one on one time is precious not just for the child but the parent as well. I came back feeling happy, recharged and gratefull that instead of being given the large family I wanted I ended up with the little family I most definetly needed. My only worry is that when Im gone she will be alone but then I think she will have the solid social skills and childhood friendship bonds that will help get her through it. So perhaps those who say having one is cruel are just plain wrong.