Should we move?

[Peach1886]

After years of heartache DH and I gave up hoping for children and bought a rural idyll to start a new chapter. FFWD a few years and a miracle baby turns up - DS starts school next year.

Where we live is stunning, more peace, hills and wildlife than you could ever hope for. But I am wondering if its isolation will become a big drawback as DS grows up.

The nearest school and kids clubs are a 20 minute drive away (not unusual in our area), there are no children his age where we live, and there is no possibility of siblings. Having friends (whether he feels he needs one or a dozen) will be important as he gets older, as we have no family nearby either.

I'm wondering if school/clubs will be "enough" socially, and our location won't matter, or whether village/small town life, where it's easier to hang out with your mates, would be a better option because he is an only? He is quite shy with other kids already, and I'd like that to get better not worse as he gets older - only if he wants to of course, this isn't about forcing him to be sociable!

DH doesn't want to move, where we are is perfect for him, and I love it too, but even though I'm not the kind of mum whose life revolves entirely round her pfb, I do think we might need to look at this. We bought this place thinking it was a forever house for just the two of us, and now, wonderfully there are three of us, and the priorities are shifting...

Your thoughts gratefully received.

Hmm, I think I would leave it for a year and see how things go when DS starts school.

DD is now 16, but her first 12 years were spent in a very small village with a 15 minute drive to school. We were very lucky, her school was wonderful with many like minded parents & we never felt that rural would be a problem until she hit secondary school. Somewhere between 11&14 they need more independence. We moved to a small town (arguably in a more scenic position, certainly a much bigger garden) where she can now walk to a fantastic school, meet friends in coffee shops & libraries & generally is loving life. It was definitely the right decision to stay rural for primary as long as you find a great primary parents are more than happy to drive their offspring for play dates. Secondary she is definitely much better off where she has somewhere to go with other kids. However, we have yet to decide whether we stay here long term or move again once she's finished her education. We would probably be happier more rural again, but a rural town has been a good compromise for now & we have a beautiful old house.
I hope this helps!

You could move to a bustling city and he still wouldn't want to socialise but then you could all be miserable. Stay put where your happy alone isn't the same as lonely and a 20 minute car ride for school and clubs is nothing. Think of it as 20 minutes you get to spend togeather when he has to talk to you ( you'll be glad when he's a teenager)

We are in the city - friends are halfway across London and schoolmates are scattered. Families move in and out a lot and there isn't much consistency.

At least you have the countryside!

Thank you everyone and sorry for the delayed response. We are staying put for now, but thinking (at least I am!) that we might move somewhere with a bit more going on for secondary...