Please be gentle with me, I'm just explaining my personal reasons as to why I'm only going to have one child. It is complex and there are under and over lying reasons.
I had always wanted 2 (OK 20+), but when I fell pregnant and had depression during pregnancy, pelvic girdle agony then extreme post baby blues/ post Natal depression. It all changed. I was exhausted and it took 2 years before I even began to feel myself again (mentally). My birthing experience was very painful and traumatic (I know other women have better experience and that's great). The baby stage was exhausting and demanding and now I am reaping the benefit of a bit more time, energy and space for myself.
We had very little support from extended family. DH's parents are in north America and my mum is disabled (now passed away), so no date nights or overnight stays ect, all the onus on us, particularly me (very little time for myself.
My husband is self employed and we can't afford a second child. I gave up my minimum wage job as couldn't afford child care. I stayed at home, when he turned 2 I volunteered and when he was 3 I started a zero hour contract job.
My dd is 5 in Aug, he is in reception, settled into a lovely school. I applied for a social work ma the second day he started school, I start on the 1st of October. I train and get funding, become qualified and skilled and will have a career and shift us out of this low income slump.
I've also recently been tested for a rare genetic condition which I have a 50% chance of having and passing on to my son. Gutted and guilty. At worst I'll loose the ability to walk and need a feeding tube. I don't want to have more children who could potentially have this and having more would mean that when I so become more unwell, I'd struggle to look after them.
I have looked into fostering and adoption as an option we would need a bigger house, which we cannot afford and my possible genetic condition may also go against me in that there is no guarantee how my health will change.
For most of my life I have been overweight/obese, before meeting dh I lost 30kg...I met dh had ds and gained 20 kg that I worked so so so hard to lose! I have just managed to lose it all again (keto), through running over 1200 miles and strength exercises and low carb high fat. I'm in really good physical shape, thinner than before ds and fitter, if I had another child I wouldn't be able to fit in my exercise which I really need to do as it keeps depression/anxiety and Panic attacks at bay.
I'm not even 30 and people do ask why I haven't had another child, and wouldn't it be nice for ds to have a sibling/friend but sometimes it isn't as simple as that. We are all different and have different experiences and I hope people understand and respect that one healthy and happy child is for some a blessing and more than enough. And if you want more that's great but for some it's ok to be a one parent family x
I'd be interested in hearing from any other one parent families, what are your reasons? x
Please no flaming x