Dying for another baby...

[BroodyMumOf1]

Hi all, I need advice. I am married and have a 2 1/2 yo DS and I’m so ready to have another, but DH says he isn’t. I’ve been bringing it up for the last year, I don’t want children too far apart in age. He keeps putting me off and saying he’s not ready yet and saying our flat is too small and we don’t make enough money etc etc, which I get but it’s a different reason every time and I’m worried he’s just putting me off again and again indefinitely until it’s too late. All the reasons he gives are reasonable, they’re just reasons that we could get past if we wanted to, and I want to, and he gets annoyed every time I talk about it. I’m worried he’s never going to want more.

I don’t really know what my question is here I just don’t know if I’m being unreasonable, should I give him time, should I confront him? I think about it every single day and every day I think how my DS is getting older and how far apart in age they would end up being and it makes me so sad.

I understand how you feel but you can't force him to want another baby. Why does a small age gap appeal so much? It's not a guarantee of a friend for life... my dbro and I are 16mo apart. All we did when we were younger was stab each other with forks and tell tales to our DM. We're close now we're in our 40s though...

I just feel like t would be nicer to have them close in age because of sharing clothes and toys, they may have more in common and sharing a room etc but also because I don’t want to be done with all the baby stuff, pushchairs and nappies and waking in the night etc then have to go back and do it all over again, it’ll just make it harder. I’m 13 months apart from my sister and we were very very close. Yes we fought but we have so much in common and shared all our clothes and makeup etc, it’s all fond memories and I want that for DS. Also I’m incredibly broody and don’t want to wait anymore.

Hi Broody. . I feel your pain! We are so lucky that we have our beautiful DS but he's always desperate for a playmate even though its a very definite NO whenever we suggest a baby brother! It's as if he knows he won't be number one any more! He's a very astute 4 year old. Anyway we're probably much older than you...i'm about to turn 46 and have almost given up hope after about 2 years of trying. I keep finding articles about women of 45, 46 & 47 managing to conceive naturally.
I just try to think if it doesn't happen then we must be grateful for our DS. Being an only we can concentrate solely on his development and he gets his room to himself. .we're not in the position of being able to move so one has to be enough. I just try hard to banish the 'what if's' as the negative thoughts can be horrendous!
I think if you've got time on your side, I'd give your DH time to perhaps get used to the idea. There's no point forcing him. I wish you luck in whatever you decide xx

Shmithecat: "stab each other with forks "made me lol ..yes i def agree that having having siblings doesn't automatically mean they'll be best friends. I certainly never got on with my big brother although he was alot older than me (10 years) and we don't really get on now

Thank you everyone. I appreciate being able to vent on here. We had a very long discussion yesterday and husband is actually already warming up to the idea. It could happen this year, just need to get some bits into place first. The main issue I had is that we never had a conversation before we got married about how many kids we might want. He’s said now 2 is his max, which I can live with since we’ll have discussed beforehand and I’m not expecting different. Thanks everyone, I’ve been thinking about number 2 for over a year now and I’m very pleased now.