DD struggling to make friends

[Tina3]

Hi everyone. This is my first ever post on this site so please bear with me! My DD is 8, we have moved to London from the south coast and put out DD in an outstanding state school however she is really struggling to make any friends. We are an Asian family and live in Notth London which is predominantly an Asian area. It is a real shame that girls in her class from our own ethnicity are cutting my DD out. I have stood near the school gates and seen it with my own eyes, they walk away from her, when she joins them they all come closer physically so as to push her out or at times( she has told me this); they send her to bring something and then they disappear when she is back. It breaks my heart and I don’t know what I can do to help her. Please advise xxxx

How long has she been at the new school?

I would be tempted to have a word with her teacher and see if they can arrange a buddy to help her settle in and get to know the others. It can be really tough to break into established friendship groups.

for you, it's very stressful watching your child being left out.

Yes definitely speak to the school they should be supporting her and you more! Maybe she just needs more time to settle has it been long? Best of luck try not to worry. Sometimes my daughter has had friendship issues and I've worried myself sick about them and she's resolved them herself in a few days.

Also maybe try role playing with her...what she could say/do if the other girls are being horrible. Find out it there's one child in class she gets on with and ask the teacher it she could pair them up for activities or to sit together in class. Might help.

Poor you girls of any ethnic background can be so cruel to one another.

Maybe have a quiet word with the class teacher or could she invite a girl to tea or to the cinema or something.

In my experience my DD is still having friendship issues at secondary. Try and teach her to be confident in her beliefs and values and encourage her to do things to boost her confidence in and out of school.

Speak to the teacher. This is bullying and shouldn't be allowed.

She is being bullied OP, I can't see ethnicity has any relevance at all it would be unacceptable regardless. I hope you've talked to the school by now and they are helping her to settle in.