Friend looks down on us for having 'only' 1

[Cornishbelle]

OH mentioned last night comment a friend made the other week and it has really annoyed me. Basically we were discussing cars and oh mentioned us getting a larger car (nothing huge just a bit bigger than we currently have) She basically turned round and said "why would YOU guys need a car that size, there's only three of you". They are a family of four and it is not the first time that she has made snidey comments. We are happy as a three but conceiving our child took much longer than expected and we had some fertility treatment. For all she knows we may have tried and failed to have a second (we haven't). It's like she thinks we're not a proper family, has anyone else experienced this or got any advice? Thanks for reading.

Hmm I'm not seeing that particular comment as bad? I might say that to someone buying a large car. I might expect a reply along the lines of to ferry visitors aroun/dogs/windsurer/bikes/roof racks etc.
I say this as someone who had 4 x if so I am sympathetic on the fertility issue but don't think that specific comment was bad?

I can see what you mean, I think it's because she regularly says this kind of thing and gives us the general impression that if you don't have the typical family size you're somehow a lesser family? She once said to me that she understands I wouldn't appreciate how hard it is being a mum of two and that I have it easy. I could well be being too sensitive and maybe she's right, but its more the attitude and expression that comes with it if that makes sense?

She is insensitive to your fertility issues I would not make those comments to someone in your position, but as i say I have had 4 x ivf so am wise to it. Technically she us right just as she doesnt know what it's like to have fertility issues. Hang out with her less or challenge her.

This is part of a pattern of snide remarks about the difference in your family sizes. I'd pick her up on it next time she says anything. Either she will realise what an idiot she is being (and it is just about possible that she is stuck in her 2+2 bubble and doesn't realise how rude she is being), apologise and never refer to it again. Or (sadly more likely) she will try to tell you that it's nonsense and you are being too sensitive, in which case you know she's not a good friend and you dump her.

She's just jealous is my guess. One is easier than two and she knows it. I bet lots of people wished they'd stopped at one. She just wants you to have it as hard as she does. Regardless it's bloody rude to mention such things to anyone frankly as fertility issues are always a possibility.

Well, they have yet to invent triangular cars.

That seems more like she's annoyed that you are getting a bigger car.

Thanks for all your comments, it's definitely put things in perspective. She is a very caring person when she wants to be but has a habit of being a bit tactless, but I think you may be right she sometimes envies our situation, I guess the grass is always greener. As for a triangular car the nearest would be a Robin reliant I guess lol x