son says I am making him unhappy

[workingitout246]

I posted this on another thread but thought parents on lone children might be able to appreciate that the relationship be tween a parent and an only child can be intense.
It breaks my heart when my son says this. I am trying so hard with him. There are only two of us so the relationship is fairly intense especially over the summer break as I don't work then.
He is a sensitive and boisterous boy of 8. He can behave badly when we are out and about and when I reprimand him he is so sensitive and distraught. He is often touching things of attempting unsafe moves in the park so they are not things I can make light of or ignore. During the holidays we have been going to parks, having a friend over to play occasionally, going to the odd museum, swimming, etc.
When I am home it is a constant struggle to limit his iPad time. I have limited it to an hour 3 days a week but when the hour is up (and I always give him amble warning) it is a constant battle. Not only that he loves those games which involve going up levels for jumping over obstacles and his frustration is palpable when things go wrong. The other area of contention is the TV. He is allowed to watch it in the evening and occasionally during the day but as with the IPad getting him off is a struggle.
Ironically he wants to be with me a lot of the time. When I have had appointments and adult type commitments over the holidays he has refused to go to a friend's place.
He has struggled slightly at school and I have been doing some simple writing exercises with him but that too has evolved into a daily argument.
I have explained to him that I would not need to growl at him if he behaved sensibly when we are out and about, we talked about iPad times etc. and agreed on reasonable times he can use it.

We have the screen problem too. I've found that limiting it to a certain amount of time a day doesn't work - for all sorts of reasons. So I only allow it two days a week, but for those two days it's unlimited. He knows the days, and knows I won't take it away on those days. One of the days is a school day, and one is a Saturday when he has two clubs going on, so we are out and about a lot anyway. But I do let him have it all the time he wants it those two days - allows me to get the house sorted! I'm a single parent too, and it's hard to keep on top of ethg

My seven and nine year old have an hour of screen time a day, with iPad/ Wii/ DS only allowed every other day - so it works out as either three or four hours of iPad etc a week. I don't think this is so unusual. I have got slacker about it over the holidays and allowed films, and they have been round friends houses where I know they have played computer games for hours on end.

I do think though that you ( I don't mean you specifically OP but you in general) have to help them find other things to do at home, board games, art, reading etc, and quite often do it with them.

Do you only spend 3 hours on your iPad and electronics op?

Its a vicious circle. The more he can't have it, the more he wants it. The trouble is that you can control things now but he's likely to rebel as he gets older.

All things in moderation would be my mantra. Perhaps give him more control over when and for how long he uses it as long as certain other things are done as well. If he still makes a fuss then he just doesn't get it the next day.