Going on holiday without our son

[wishesandkisses]

Wasnt sure where to put this. Hope ots the right place. Me and my partner have had an awful year so far. He has had awful health problems and my mental illness has been all over. This has resulted in a break down for both of us. We have decided that we need a break just to clear our heads a little and enjoy some time together.

We also have a three year old who we love and adore and keeps us going.

We have 3 holidays booked this year with our son, 2 with family and 1 with just us. So we thought it would be okay to have a few days with our friends to let our hair down without our son. We have checked with our parents who have agreed to share looking after him and have booked the holiday got 4 days.

Me and my partner rarely go out without our son and spend most evenings/weekends entertaining him the best way we can zoos, beach, walks etc. Anyhow, the week before we go both families have said that we are cruel to leave him at home whilst we go on holiday. Both me and my partner are now questioning whether to cancel the whole thing due to this as we are upset that it is seen this way. We're going on holiday with our little boy in August but both families are saying this doesn't matter as we are leaving him now for 4 days. I guess what I am asking is should we cancel?

Under no circumstances should you cancel! Go and enjoy the break and recharge your batteries. Your family are being ridiculous.

Don't cancel! It's good to also be able to have some time as a couple. You've had a bad year, if that's what's needed to get back on track absolutely go for it! It's not cruel at all

What nonsense they speak. Go. Enjoy yourself.

No, you're not being cruel. A happy child needs happy parents and if that means you need 4 days to have some headspace and get yourself together a bit then that's fair enough!

If you had said this was your only holiday this year my answer would be a different one but seeing as though you're taking him on 2 holidays and he, by the sounds of it, has a pretty decent childhood, you're not being unreasonable to take this 4 days out.

Have fun, be good(ish), be happy

Is it your parents who agreed to look after him now saying this? if so I'd ask them why. It's not cruel to look after your own wellbeing. It's only a few days

Anyone else tell them to shove their opinion up their arse.

Enjoy every minute of your break

It would not be something I would chose to do voluntarily. I don't think it's "cruel". But I wouldn't go a flight away from my kids by choice.

Lots of people do, and it's fine, but for me I wouldn't wanna be unable to get back to them for potentially days if anything happened and they needed me.

It's something that some people choose to do, and others don't. You won't get universal approval for it, but it's also OTT for anyone to call it "cruel" even if it's not something they would do. I'ld call it more… "Trusting" "optimistic".. not cruel though.

However, despite it not being cruel for you to go, if it's your "babysitters" who are saying that they're not happy that you're going, I would cancel or at least find alternative childcare for the 4 days. I don't think it's a good idea to use people for childcare for this if they aren't happy that you're going.

Depends on the three year old and the relationship they have with your parents really. Personally I wouldn't do it but if your son's already staying over night and thenodd weekend he'll probably love it.

Why is it cruel? Because he is an only? How ridiculous . Absolutely do not cancel if you want to get away and are looking forward to it.

I will say, our DS is an only. DP and I have never gone away together but that is because we don't want to. I have left them both to go away (last year, DS was 11). I thought I'd love it but I hated every second! It was still worthwhile to know my limit .

Oh! To add - DS was taken for weekends/days away by my Dad at that age - he loved it!

Thanks guys this has made me feel better. Completely get that some parents wouldn't want to do it. Usually we wouldn't dream of going without him but it's literally because of the awful year. I want a lie in, I want to be able to drink and not feel guilty, party and feel 23 for once😂 we both work in very high demand jobs and treasure our time with our son and wouldn't usually dream of going without him. It is a complete one off x

I'd be concerned by the fact you seem to indicate your parents are the ones being critical but also the ones looking after him.

I think they're being ridiculous. Go and enjoy yourselves. I'm sure his own grandparents will take good care of him

I should clarify - DP and I have never been away together because we don't want a weekend away on our own. Not because we don't want to leave DS . We'very always been happy for DS to go away if he wanted to.

Spending time as a couple is very important. It gives you time to remember who you are as people and not just parents.
I'm sure your ds will have a great time with his grandparents. My parents did this when me and brother were kids. Probably every couple of years. We were left with my grandparents and loved it! I have great memories!!
And I do it with my children too.
Please go and enjoy yourselves. X

Definitely do not cancel.

My parents went on holiday every year without us for many years and we loved it as our adopted grannies (maternal grandparents passed away before we were born and these were their friends) came to stay so every got a holiday or a change or routine. Loved it

Thanks everyone. I rang my mum, she apologised and said I'm over thinking it (I do cause of my anxiety anyway, she never gets it bless her). I've said to OH that if his parents complain anymore he can tell them we will find alternative arrangements. Hopefully that's the end of it now and we can go peacefully (And buy him lots of lovely presents of course😊) x

Its 4 days not 4 weeks go and have some fun.