Help me to feel positive about my decision please!

[Elvander]

I have one dd (2) who I love to bits, but we've had a difficult time with reflux, cmpi, generally pretty high maintenance and ongoing crap sleep. I've had PND (currently on ADs and have had CBT) and I honestly don't think I could put myself (or DH) through it all again. We have discussed it at great length and have decided that we're happy as a family of 3.

The problem is that all of my antenatal friends have either had baby no. 2 or are currently pregnant, and every pregnancy announcement makes me want to curl up and cry. I WANT to want to do it all again, but the thought of those early months in particular makes me feel incredibly anxious. I'm no spring chicken so unfortunately waiting for a few years isn't an option.

I'm so grateful to have dd - in spite of the difficulties she's the best thing ever - I'm just struggling to come to terms with the decision to not even try to have another baby. I know that it's the right decision for us as a family, but I just feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to cope

Please help me to put my big girl pants on, count my blessings and stop feeling so sorry for myself!

DP and I have decided that our 6 month dd will be an only child. DP was an only child and perfectly happy, and as much as I love my DB his arrival meant competing for attention from my parents didn't help my mental state, and I was very happy as an only! DD is a very easy baby thankfully, but I had hyperemesis and I know that I wouldn't be able to give DD the attention she would need during another pregnancy and I never want to feel that rotten ever again Plus in these uncertain times perhaps it's better to only have one child to support. I wish I could have enjoyed pregnancy and seeing people's lovely bump photos makes me a bit sad but life goes on and I'm not going to have two because it's the norm. Not everyone has to want the nuclear family with a boy and a girl, it's just seemingly something people feel a need to comment on and ask about. I am regularly being asked when we will be having another and DD is only 6 months old!

Really helpful hearing everyone's views thanks