Life as an only child

[bakewelltarte]

Hi, I would love to hear what it's like having grown up as an only child?
I am a mum of one and as
I much as I would love another child, it would be foolhardy to consider it as following my son's birth I developed a blood clot in my brain which led to a stroke. I am mostly fully recovered and my son brings me so much joy and happiness everyday. My husband and I are agreed that we are complete as a family and lucky to all be alive and healthy . I also feel very blessed to have my son as I know so many people struggle to conceive. That said, I am consumed by grief that I will not have another baby and I also worry that he will not have siblings for support and friendship as he grows older . The rational part of me knows that many people do not have positive relationships with siblings and that it is much better for him to have a mummy who is alive even if that means no siblings. I am still coming to terms with all that happened (my son is a baby) and would welcome posts about what life is like as an only child - I'm worried he will be lonely! Thank you for any advice xx

I meant to add that I'm sure that only children aren't lonely - just that my husband and I have siblings who we get on well with and so having an only child of our own would be a different upbringing to the one we are familiar with x

Goodness, what a tough time you've been through op.

I am an only child. The only thing I dislike about it is watching my parents age and knowing that when I loose them all our funny little family sayings will be gone and I won't have anyone who remembers growing up in our house.

Overall though I don't feel I missed out. I wasn't spoilt with material possessions but I did benefit from more of my parents' time. I recognise that I was lucky with that. I am also very close to my parents and I love being with them.

Dh thinks I am fussy about my things because I am an only child but I disagree. I learned to appreciate the things I had, take good care of them and of other people's things.

I'm an only child and I've just got to the stage of accepting my son will be too. I really wanted another child but after 2 years of trying it's time to stop.

I had a great childhood and grew up happy, confident with great friends so I'm sure my son will be the same. I wholeheartedly disagree with the only child lonely child saying as it really depends on the child's personality.

I agree with paddypants I don't feel like I missed out and I have great friends who I love. My little boy is 5 now and he doesn't care he has no brothers or sisters he's perfectly happy.

What I have noticed is that single child families are almost becoming the norm these days. When I grew up in don't remember anyone being an only child.

You're right be happy to be alive and that you have you're lovely son x

Thank you for your replies

I'm an only child (married to another only child).

I had a great childhood we lived in a village but my parents were v good about having people over etc.

I would have liked siblings but not so much that I felt I missed out on things. It was just how it was - I knew I was loved and secure and that was the most important thing. (I think the wanting siblings was a case of the grass is always greener ...)

I would really have liked siblings. But as I grew up I realised there would have been far less support and opportunities if they'd had 2 other children to support!

I like it now I am an adult but I didn't like it as a child. Helpful?! Sorry

DD is an only child she's had a rough time school wise bullying and I suppose another child would have helped her, but she's now in boarding school and is a well rounded girl who's lovely and a delight! She's never complained of being lonely and has had more opportunities for being an only child, being an only child isn't a bad thing, I don't regret it

Hi, bakewelltarte.

My DD is only and likely to be that way. We just had a long conversation with her daycare teacher. She said our DD has lots of friends in daycare and is a popular playmate. I've been worrying of her not having siblings, too. In the end I think the way you raise your chuld matters the most. They can have good friends and don't need siblings to have playmates and company.

I grew up practically at only, but I don't think it was bad. I could always bring friends at home . My friends with siblings hade more restrictions about that. I think that after starting the school the children appreciate their friends more than siblings...

I'm an only one and loved it and still do. I have a good relationship with my parents and have made a wide circle of friends but am also happy in my own company.

My mum always says that I am too independent as I don't often ask for help!

I have lots of only ones as friends which is lovely (we share a common bond). It's also very very unlikely that I will have any more than one (mainly because I can't get my head around siblings or how I could live two equally!)

I do worry about life when my parents pass and also life for my baby once me and DH die. That's probably the biggest thing for me. Having my parents time and attention was precious.

I'm an only, have 3 myself & think there are a lot of advantages to being an only! I remember people saying 'oh poor devilish has no brothers or sisters' when I was growing up & I never understood why they felt sorry for me (I still don't!)

I am an only child, I had a happy childhood and I (think) I am a well adjusted adult! The only time I felt 'lonely' as an only child was on
Holidays with my parents when I was an older child/young teen but I think that could have been easily solved by being allowed to take a friend along or going to places with other kids (ie not a remote villa in the countryside!)