How did you feel about giving away baby things?

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

I know everyone is different, for some it might be more meaningful than others. I am trying to understand my own feelings about probably sticking with one and giving away her baby things. DD is 21 months. I had a hard time at the beginning. We have no family or support locally. I am not working and don't see how we can afford to life here (London) on just DH salary. In fact, we can't, I will need to work soon, so a 2nd would make things complicated. Things are often strained with DH as it is so sticking with one might be the best thing for everyone. I do feel a bit relieved at that thought.

I have just bought a stroller. I could give away the original pram and carry cot now. I am keen. But I am not keen to give away her bouncy chair or her playmat. All of her clothes are taking up so much room under the bed. I am seriously considering getting rid of it all, but not sure, maybe I would want to keep some. I think that the things I want to keep are more sentimentality towards DD's first years than because I want another? But I just don't know! I actually have no interest in another baby. But I wonder if I would like an older family of 4 if you see what I mean.

If you decided to have only one, did you still feel sad or emotional about giving things away?

Incidentally I bought a gender specific stroller. I mean, no it's not the end of the world if a boy uses it. But it would have been sensible to get the black. But I didn't want to. I think I am leaning towards one. But will there always be these doubts?

Thanks for indulging my personal ramblings

Hi
I would say keep them for little longer as you don't seem so sure and you might change your mind. I really would like another but my DH is not keen so I am waiting ...

I knew I could not have another for a variety of reasons. Giving my boys baby things away cemented the decision into our lives. It felt good to make everything definite but hard to say goodbye to some things.

I've kept the usual keepsakes, and now enjoy seeing friends children in his old clothes, and on his old mat etc. I'm glad other children are using them, even if they aren't our own.

I gave my daughter's baby things away, convinced I was never having another. When she was 9 I gave birth to my second child, a little boy! I had nothing and had to buy everything all over again. I would say think carefully before getting rid of everything..you never know how you might feel several years down the line..

Thanks for your thoughts. I am 38 next month so not long left for decisions I don't think. In hindsight big age gaps sound so sensible!

Cheery (love the name) it is lovely to think of someone else getting use that is such a nice point. I think 'cemented the decision' is the feeling I am looking for. I just want to get on with things I am not enjoying this will we, won't we feeling. But I guess I should be grateful I have the option really.

I got rid of everything and am now having another (9 year age gap!); I don't regret it at all, it would have been cluttering up the place for years. Plus, I'm getting hand me downs from friends, including those I gave stuff to from my babies, so it's not as if I have to buy everything new!

I kept their first outfits and christening dresses.

Similar dilemma here, actually giving away these things makes it feel so complete, but I'm telling myself that it's not the end of the world to need to buy new things if things change, so most things will go shortly!

Unless you are on or below the poverty line get rid. You can only live in the here and now. You can rebuy if necessary down the line.

I like your outlook ALongTime

I have decided to give anything like breast pads/a nursing bra I didn't use/ moses basket sheets that were a gift but not needed to my friend who is expecting. Basically anything 'new' that is sitting 'waiting for a second'!

I will not do anything about clothes just yet. I will keep the pregnancy books, bouncer and playmat for now. Those feel related to DD.

The buggy that's coming tomorrow is suitable from birth, though forward facing, so will get rid of the original pram and carrycot and cross that bridge should the time come round again.

I feel I've made some progress on this mentally, thank you all

Fluffy Exactly. I think that's where I'm at now.

Boppin I have sentimental feelings about her very first vest. Def gonna keep that just for me!

My best friend only has one LO and she gave us some beautiful bits and she loves seeing my DD use them. Especially her first little duvet. She knows her LO was happy and snuggled up under it and now our LO is. What about giving it to a women's refuge of some description? That's what we did with some bits.

DS is 4 soon and we still have a cot. Given I'm 44, DC2 is not likely. I have picked out some clothes that have particular associations, but will be getting rid of bulky stuff.

I put nearly everything in the charity shop or gumtree'd the big items as soon as we were finished with them.

Only realised when talking a bit later that my other baby class friends had kept their items (like carry cot for pram, jumper on etc) for other possible babies. Perhaps that in itself confirmed I'm definitely a one child mother?? I didn't even think of keeping any of it.

We're just in the process for getting rid of most of dd1s baby stuff.

It's a bit different for us and we tried hard for another but we lost dd2 at 22 weeks and ds at 14 weeks. Our decision is less to have one and more that another lost would possibly be something I couldn't recover from.

I gave dds clothes away far too soon after loosing ds and probably should have waited. I've kept lovely clothes to go to dds cousin so I know they'll get reused. Everything else is going to charity or being sold. We are now doing it slowly but surely. I know they need to go but it tugs at my heartstrings every theme something gets sold or given away.

I'm happy we are solidifying our decision but it can be tough.

I'd say if you're definitely a one child family (like us, kind of) then you may as well get rid!

I thought we would stick at one as dd1 birth was terrible, we had no support and l was massively overwhelmed with it all. However l kept all of her stuff (l mean everything as she never stained anything!). I put them in those space saver bags and stacked them away.

We moved her out of her cot at 3 (she was tiny and probably would have been happy to be in there another year or so!) and it was then l realised we would try again as l had no intention of getting rid of the cot.

Dd2 is 9 months old and l love packing away the stuff she has grown out of and giving it away.

I know that l have no interest in dc3. I think you should hang onto the expensive stuff as you don't sound 100%

I gave away most of the baby items to friends or charity. I didn't find I was really attached to 'things', and I wouldn't have wanted them taking up space for years just in case. Clothes I found difficult. I gave away some, kept a lot. Spacesaver bags in the loft. A year later I opened the bags and had an 'edit', gave away some more things, put the rest back in the loft. Next year, same thing, and so on. It's lovely seeing other little ones in some of the clothes I loved DD wearing. I still have a fair amount packed up that I'm still too attached to, but I'm fine with that.

If you can afford to re-buy things should you need to, then let go of what you can. I just think if we ever did have another, everything would be so out dated anyway I'd probably want new things.

For me even when I was pregnant I knew I only wanted one child so found giving stuff away when he outgrew them easier. I kept a few special items of clothing but everything else went pretty much right away. I had a slight wobble with the last lot of clothes just because it hit me that he's growing up and soon I won't have a baby - if that makes any sense.

Everyone's different though and some people find it harder, so just do it in your own time.

I have 3 older step children so my LO was always going to be just the one. The basic stuff I'm giving away ask go along to children centre. I'm hoping to have a blanket & maybe a teddy made out of my favourite baby clothes - this is helping me not dwell too much!

*giving away to a children centre!

I am finding it really hard to give things away. My DH doesn't want a second child but I do so I don't know whether to get rid of things but even thinking about it hurts me so I am keeping the expensive items for now and hoping that he would change his mind one day ...

I'm really enjoying getting rid of DS' things as he grows out of them so I think that means we are set on just the one. Need to take the crib to a charity shop and cannot wait for it to be out of our bedroom and for that to be mine and DH's space again. Will probably invest in some nice bedroom furniture :)

I have however kept the first outfit and will make a bear out of some of the others.

Unless you are definitely planning one very soon or have a big attic I would get rid :)