why do the older kids gang up on my son??...please help..

[sheenag74]

I am looking for some advice?...My son is 5 and a lot of the people I have as friends have older children and they all get on fine with my son alone but once there is 2 or more they gang up on him, he is never allowed on there ''team'' it will be all of them against him, they run away from him, say he can't play with them/walk with them and complain about him.
yes it is probably upsetting me more than him t see him being treated like that and I try and only spend short periods with them but as I have no family or visitors they are the only people I know when I go to events which are the worse as there is more than 1 child, I don't know what to do, had to say it to them and they don't see a lot of what I see as I still watch my son as he's just gone 5 at 7/8 they don't watch what there children are doing.
what do I do, my son still wants to see these boys and I would like to enjoy the only social life I have as have no babysitter so am always with my son...please help

Siblings fight and the kids toughen up as a result. It was the same for my son when he was your sons age, he wasn't used to rough play, ganging up and other children being mean. He was lost by it and was more picked on as a result.
The most successful boys were the ones who were rough, tough and not bothered by the behaviours of other kids.
It gets better with age. Learning to play and enjoy football helped him too but eventually he just grew a thicker skin and became one of the lads.

It can be tough when kids don't seem to be having ... positive interactions. My DS had an older friend when he was 5 (10, now) - and I thought that kid was just rude. But DS didn't seem to notice, and still wanted to play with that little creeper. Boys are odd. What does your DS say about the boys? Could ask him in general ... How was play today? If he says, I had fun! then ...boys are odd. If he says, "So-n-so was mean to me ... or wouldn't let me play." Well, that would be different. You could try to explain it, maybe? "So-n-so is a good friend, but when he's with the older boys, he's just going to act different."

I understand what you are feeling, because when that kid was being rude to my DS, I really wanted to tell him off. That would have been ... some comedian I watched had a bit about this kid who was a jerk to his kid, and he couldn't stop thinking about what he should have said to him ... That was me! So, try not to let the behavior get under your skin, I guess.

Finally, I spent a lot of time with my son,going to parks, zoos,aquariums, etc., so we had a lot of positive interactions, and I think that helped to play down any not so positive interactions with other kids.

I wish I could tell you how to get those boys to behave! But, I can't think of anything, except maybe indirectly bribe them? Sometimes if kids really like the parent, they'll be nicer to the kid?

Best wishes!