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One-child families

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i dont want another child

7 replies

lazyminimoo · 19/03/2015 14:14

my boy is 2 and he was unplanned totally such a big shock lol but i dont regret having him but i dont want another child but my mum gets on my nerves saying aww hes going to be an only child and might get lonely , whats so wrong with him being an only child? he has no cousins and probably wont ever but still whats so wrong with that? he will meet friends at school and hopefully see them outside of school too , i dont want more work and to have to try to move to a house if i had another as we live in a 2 bed flat but i guess sometimes i get worried because of my mum saying things like that that maybe he wont be as happy as he should but i dont want to have another just because of that reason , surely only children can be very happy? but i dont know anyone with only one child

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RL20 · 19/03/2015 14:44

Hi lazyminimoo.
First of all, don't let anyone pressure you into thinking you 'need' another child, even if it is by your mum. It's your body, (although I'm sure you know that!).

My partners grandparents had 6 children, who are obviously all a lot older now, in their 40's. They pretend as though they get on, but in reality I've seen and heard all the different sides of bitchiness from each and very one of them! A big family doesn't necessarily mean a happy one.

My mum was an only child. My nan had previous pregnancy problems before conceiving my mum, and with her birth she lost a lot of blood, so in them days was advised not to have any more children.
My mum had a very happy upbringing and has no bad words to say.

I have one sibling. (Also an older half sibling- haven't seen her for years, she decided to lose contact with us and our dad).
Me and my younger brother had a great childhood. And yes it was like having a friend, like when we used to go and stay at our dad's house at weekends etc. I couldn't imagine an upbringing without him. But that's probably because I can't remember him not being there, as I was only 2 and a half when he was born.
We were very close up until a few years back when obviously you go off and do your own thing (I'm 22 now and he'll be 20 soon). We have both moved out, so don't see each other that often now.

I'm now expecting my first, and although he will have a half sister that doesn't live with us, for now I'm thinking he might be an only child. Of course instantly it makes you feel some sort of 'guilt'.
I admire anyone who has more than one child (and of course people with one child too!) because I could not imagine being pregnant with a toddler running around too! Shock
Who's to say you're children would even automatically become the best of friends? Or even like eachother?! I've known of siblings to despise eachother unfortunately!

Basically, the choice is yours. Just don't feel pressured!

LittleBairn · 19/03/2015 14:48

I've been a nanny to a few only children, none of them were lonley. They are all great at socialising since they learned early to make friends with other children at the park and groups because they didn't have a sibling to rely on for company and games.

Curlypop · 22/03/2015 06:36

I'm the same. My son is two and I don't want another. He was totally planned and I expected I'd always have two children but I really don't. I do feel guilty but with only having one I can concentrate on him

ScrambledEggAndToast · 22/03/2015 06:38

I've got no wish for another one. DS is 12 and is a very sociable, happy sort. He has xbox live so of he wants to chat to his mates in the evening he just uses that.

Lonz · 22/03/2015 22:59

Same! My son is all I need. I don't feel the need for a second. I'm content with my choice.
I've now learned to ignore mum/sisters (all have more than one) that say I should have another. Still gets to me but I have reasons for not wanting to go through it all again, I just don't need to hear it. Secondly, I really don't think I'd be that agile with a second kid running around as I am now...and a lot of other reasons!

People with no siblings can be the happiest person in the world. People with 6 siblings can be the loneliest person in the world. Someone with no siblings wont know any different and someone with 6553 wont know any different. I'm one of five, hardly see any of them now.
Don't feel guilty for not wanting something that doesn't exist. It's your choice and no-one else's.

UnikittyInHerBusinessSuit · 22/03/2015 23:04

The only problem you have is how to make your mum shut up. How about "Mum, DS and I are very happy. Lots and lots of only children are really happy about it, and lots of people don't get on with their sibllings at all. Now will you please stop going on about it, because I'm not going to change my mind, and you are really winding me up."

blackgoat · 23/03/2015 11:30

Im with you OP. Always thought I would want 2 children, had DS and changed my mind.
People keep asking when we will have another one, I just say I don't want any more, want to be able to give my 100% love, energy, time, money etc to DS. From personal experience - me and my sister aren't that close, growing up I always wished I was an only child...

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