My DD is jealous of me being nice to other children ......

[Schmoozer]

Thanks in advance for reading, my 7 yr old DD, an only, has recently been showing jealousy, and it worries me, because it makes her unpleasant to be around, for me, but mostly for other children.
For the last year, when she has friends round to play, or we go out with her cousins or friends, when I show other kids attention, she gets really sulky, says I don't like her, and doesn't want to play with the other kids.
I give her reassurance that I love her very much, but that it is important to be nice to other people too.
I especially worry, as because she is an only, not by choice, I have made lots of efforts to ensure we have lots of play dates so she is not alone. And now, lots of these play dates are unpleasant due to this behaviour, and I worry about her ending up with no pals, because she is a pain to be with.

No ideas, but lots of sympathy as my dd is very similar at times.

She's accustomed to your undivided attention? Is that it?

Or she wants your undivided attention and doesn't quite get it?

Just trying to understand why she feels slighted.

I used to feel that my mother was nicer to guests than to me, asked them more questions, listened more closely to them, etc, whereas I felt a bit like the wallpaper..

She might perceive your welcoming brightness toward others as a sign that you are actually bored of being alone with her?

Thanks little fish,
Zinxie - I dont think its about having undivided attention interrupted, we do socialise a lot, and we work etc so she's not used to having me all to her herself, all the time, she probably wants undivided attention ?? maybe more quality time ?? Hadn't thought of that before ......
She may perceive I am nicer to other kids, as I don't badger them to behave etc.. Hadn't considered the impact of that.
It doesn't tend to happen if the other kids parents are around, it tends to be when I'm looking after her and another
I tend to offer to take other people's kids out and about, to compensate for her lack of sibling, maybe she does perceive this as meaning I prefer others company to hers ...... When my motive is to help her socialise and have company !
Mmmmmm...........

If you believe that you have to 'compensate for lack of sibling' your DD might be feeling that she isn't enough for you - that other children are invited because you'd prefer more kids (or maybe I'm completely on the wrong track here )

It sounds like she'd like to spend more time hanging out with mum and dad rather than being socialised - they get plenty of that at school and activities. Home needs to be a sanctuary.

I feel guilty when I see her on her own at home ......
Especially when we've got chores to do and she's left to play alone although it's never for very long.
Maybe it's not such a bad thing. I guess I've never resolved the "only child" issue for myself.

If it helps, I don't think it's related to being an only child. I can think of two children (friends dc) who were like this when they were younger, and both had older siblings. I suspect it's just a phase, I know it's a PITA but I'd just not to make too big a deal of it.

I also wouldn't worry about her playing alone, surely it's a good thing to learn to be able to amuse yourself! (I've got an only dd, but since I'm an only myself maybe I worry less about it?)

I had too many siblings and loved playing on my own. So does my only Dd - it's not good to be entertained by parents/family/other kids all the time. That's what Netflix is for