What's Christmas like with an only?

[Millie3030]

Hi ladies, I have been lurking reading the 'one child families' posts for months now, they have saved my sanity, so thank you all so much.

I have a DS 14 months old and 95% sure I'm sticking with one. There are only a few things that make me wonder, what having 2 will be like. The other day my family and I watched an old family video of Christmas I was about 8 my sister 10 and we were sitting opening presents and it looked quite cute, then I thought my little guy isn't going to have anyone at Christmas.

Now us just being a 3 is absolutely fine, I love it in fact, and can't see myself with two at home, in a supermarket, on holiday, a family of 3 is just happiness in my mind. For those of you with one, what's Christmas like? Do you invite others round or go and see other families, or just have it your little family? Does it feel strange or just lovely and close?

Hi Millie

I'm an only and at the moment I want DD to be an only although that's up for discussion at a later date so I thought I might be able to help.

Christmas was amazing in our house. Sometimes we had other family there but mostly just the three of us and these were by far my favourite. It was always close and special and magical and we have loads of little family traditions that we all still do now. I never once felt lonely at Christmas.

I actually really liked being an only most of the time as I'm really close to my parents, the only time I was a bit blue was holidays. All other children were off with siblings and obviously my parents wanted to relax and then I thought it would be nice to have someone. It did give me more confidence to talk to other children and new people in the hope of making friends though!

My DH is an only. He said christmas was always filled with people in his home. His parents migrated to NZ from the UK when he was young. So it's not his own family. But his mum is a very very social type. He said they vary from friends, neighbours to others who have no families nearby to spend christmas with. I think it'll totally depend on your personality and the size of your extended family. Are you or your DH close to the siblings? How about cousins?

Oh Bettyoff that almost brought a tear to my eye! That's kind of the thing I wanted to hear. I was hoping that was the case, as yes I had a sister but we fought like cat and dog for years, never really got on. So I think it looks cute in the videos but actually it's a bit false, we are not sitting there hugging each other, we are just both sitting there opening presents, I suppose it's that nuclear/traditional family that is on the Xmas cards!

onelittletoddlerterror yes my DH has a sister with 2 children (a bit older though 4 and 8) that is desperate to spend Xmas with us and I would happily have them and all my family over. So it could be crowded and busy if we wanted it to be and quiet and close if we didn't.

I have an only DD 10years and when its just the three of us I rather dread it, especially at Christmas. Her being an only is not by choice and I am used to and love a huge family Christmas.

But

I have really loved and treasured the couple of only three of us Christmases - we make them really unusal - like treacle tart for pud, pj's all day, presents on christmas eve - and have an intimate, relaxed, board game filled time. Its a great contrast to the full on, bells and whistles christmas we will have other years. As she gets older and is not so fussed at spending time with the parents it may get harder but I intend to open the door to waifs and strays or do voluntary work en-famile.

I'm an only and I loved Christmas. Still do. I hand on heart 100% believed until I was 11. No siblings to ruin the magic you see. In the end my mum accidentally told me, she thought at 11 I knew and was playing along. I cried.
DS is 2 and no plans for any more here. I'm so excited about Christmas this year, he'll really get it for the first time. We will spend Christmas Day with my parents and MIL and possibly SIL so he will be surrounded by all his favourite people, it'll be so fab!

My ds is an only and we have a really big build up to xmas-lots of festive fun eg pantomime etc and we then have a few relatives over for the day itself.

My friend is an only and she said she loved xmas as a child. It was only ever the 3 of them and she loved the quiet time.

Dd is nearly 10 and, with no other family nearby, we spend Xmas just the three of us and it's magical. I asked her yesterday if she'd like us to spend it with anyone and she grinned and said "no way!"

We decorate the house and book a panto.

We go into town Xmas Eve to ice skate and enjoy the lights then back home to track Santa and read Night Before Xmas.

Xmas Day is exciting - presents! - but also relaxing; playing with new toys, watching DVDs, eating. Much the same as larger families but without the arguments!

Boxing Day we visit family or have them to stay and it's fun but the time that it's just the three of us is the most special part of Xmas.

I'm an only and also had fab Christmases. Extended family, friends and neighbours were all about. No jealously, lots of people to enjoy things with.

Oh such lovely responses, I love the thought of hanging out in Pjs all day and just giving my DS my undivided attention with his new toy/game. It will be nice, then Boxing Day could be the bigger family occasion. I'm glad Cateblanket your DD said "no way!" She loves having quality time with her parents, so lovely.

My ds is an only. He's 7. we have agonised over what to do this Christmas as he's Not Well and we have no family. Not much choice medically as we need to be close to hospital. So we will be at home just us two. No family near and my parents are 90's anyway. He understands (he's wise after going through the shit he has) but is quite depressed about it all tbh as am I. I love Christmas but for the first time can't wait for it to be over. Must be lovely to have rellies./friends round etc, busy house and festive. This time next year I won't be here anyway so my son will be able to spend it more enjoyably I hope!

My Dd (6) is an only, this will be the first Christmas that it will be just the 3 of us on Christmas morning and we can't wait! Usually the PIL stay with us over the Christmas period but we have dumped them on arranged for them to stay with my parents this year and to join us for the festivities at a reasonable time.
I sometimes get misty eyed and wish that she had a sibling to share things with but I look back at my relationship with my older brother and don't remember ever feeling anything but rivalry especially at christmas time.

Spopssas- what do you mean - you won't be here next Christmas?

Try to ignore the John Lewis myth that Xmas can only be fun if you are surrounded by others. You and your boy have got each other so chat about what you would both like to eat, watch on TV, games to play that day and just do it! Us 3 are having a 'Miranda' marathon

Easier said than done when your DS is ill but please don't think that 2 people on Christmas Day isn't special.

Its the three of us for most of the day. My mum comes over for lunch but doesn't stay long.

I guess dd's never known any different but it doesn't feel odd to me.

We normally spend part of the afternoon doing a new jigsaw or lego together. Then watch dr who. Its always a lovely day.

We travel 250 miles to see GPs/Aunts and Uncles/cousins etc, not because we don't want to stay at home on our own but because we love seeing family at Xmas and don't see them that often.

No bickering in the back of the car or over presents, enough space at GPs for everyone to sleep comfortably, its lovely.

If we had more than one I suspect we'd be more likely to stay home because logistically it'd be more hassle, would feel more of an imposition (and we'd be more knackered!)

I'd love to do a 'just the three of us' Xmas one year though when dd is older. London is unusually quiet on Xmas day and its a great time to wander round the parts that are usually chock full of tourists.

My grandmother was an only, my mother is an only, I'm my mother's only child, my DD is an only, so to me having a lot of family around at Christmas seems odd.

Last Christmas we went to my dad's house and my half sister was there with her two children. It felt like noisy chaos having three hyped up children running around, and I'm actually very glad this year that we're going to my mum. As a child I loved Christmas, I don't think it was in nay way "spoilt" by being an only, just relax, enjoy it and create your own traditions.

it's great actually. it's just dd and i, and she is happy to be the only. i have asked her a few times over the yrs (she is pre teen now) and it's a non issue for her, as it's all she knows!

My dd is an only child. Recently her god mothers dad died and she was close to him. So my dd godmother stays over Christmas eve to Boxing Day. My dd is 16 and we wake up and go down unwrap presents then have breakfast then get ready and my dd uses her new makeup etc and then we head over to my sisters were my dd plays and entertains along with her cousins her great cousins who are 3 and 2 and christmas day is filled with fun! When she was younger it was fun and it meant I had more time to play and interact with her

We had a lovely Christmas with just the 3 of us, me DH and only DS aged 8.
Slightly unconventional, but with just 3 of us we could go for a big mountain bike ride on Christmas eve, ending up with a cafe stop for cake,hot choc an crackers. Then do two lots of carol singing in the evening and just about manage to get up on Christmas day in time for church ( only 5 minutes late!).
Lunch was almost trad, with all teh trimming we like and none of the ones we don't like, a big box of choc biscuits for pudding that we carried on with all afternoon whilst opening presents. Normal bedtime followed as the plan was to get up early on boxing day and go for another big bike ride, but as the weather was foul we abandoned that idea and payed board games and watched a film.

All in all the boy had a great holiday and didn't want to go back to school on Monday. We have done big family Christmas with all the cousins and 20 or so people , we have spent Christmas with each set of grandparents, The general pattern is still the same, lots of carols on christmas eve, church, then lunch then presents on christmas day but I do really like the ones we are on our own and don't have to do anything to suit any one else but us 3.

I wish I had read this thread before last Xmas! But at least I am getting ideas for next Xmas.

DD is an only and she is 6 yo. I must admit I worry that she will be lonely, and have run myself ragged trying to get her to see her relatives in the UK and her couple of cousins, who live thousands of miles away, every Christmas. The strain -economic, physical and emotional- is becoming unbearable, so I am taking notes for next year

I'm quite looking forward to the cute little Christmases when my DS is a bit older and it's just us 3. I'm still very happy with one and just think with one we might even be able to afford saving up for Lapland or something equally cool when he is older, which we probably couldn't do with 2.

Our own agenda and being able to spoil him with our undivided love and attention will be so nice.

We have nice Christmases with just us 3, and others where we are in the chaotic bosoms of our extended families. Both are nice but I prefer the quieter ones as time to reflect and enjoy the day together.

DD is 9, her BD is Boxing Day, and we have friends/family over then. Given different stages of life our siblings are in at the moment, we haven't hosted Christmas yet for others (maybe in the next few years) - we live 2.5 hours away from most, and a few are overseas, and don't have room to host all the family on either side - but we are looking at options for future.

I am planning that, once DD no longer believes, (or at least, admits she doesn't believe, or I know the Man in Red won't be calling directly), we will still have her stocking but bring in one each for DH and I - that we will all add bits to the other ones.

We do get to go out and enjoy the time beforehand - like doing a few bits of shopping and only needing to find a seat for 2 or 3, not loads, in coffee shops/restaurants for breaks. Or get nice seats at carol concerts or the likes.

We still do a roast turkey dinner - but smaller bird to suit us (big enough for leftovers, and freezing some for another time). We get food that suits us - and have plenty for visitors - but not necessarily "traditional" foods (so I tend to get some amaretti biscuits and we have lots of biscuits we like in packets rather than a tub of Rover or similar, and I'll buy a big bag of Leonidas Orangettes that we all love rather than 2 tins of Roses/Quality Street for the same price but that will fester and be eaten but not enjoyed, and make me fat).

We travel to see everyone over the holidays - some years for Christmas itself and others over the break. But we fit in the car, we have room for all possible presents going any direction, and for a few nice outfits for us all too rather than a single squashed bag for the family!

Sometimes its a bit less than wonderful, but we like it. DD is now 9 and will almost certainly not have a sibling - and she loves Christmas!!