Over the years I have found Mumsnet a huge help in those early, nervous PFB days, and then a mine of useful advice and information on everything from food to holidays to what constitutes frumpy!
Now, once again, I would really appreciate the experience of others. So please excuse the long post - I feel, apart from anything, that I need to set my thoughts down in order, and would then be grateful for any advice from those who have felt similarly.
DH and I have a toddler DC, and now everyone around us seems to be on their second or third child. They keep asking when we will follow. We are very happy as we are, but I keep having niggling doubts about whether I will regret sticking at one in the years to come.
We are generally very lucky and appreciate this.
On the face of it, there are no real reasons not to have a second. My pregnancy, whilst not perfect, was not particularly complicated. The birth was not great, but not really up there with the most traumatic. DC was generally an average feeder/sleeper as a baby - nothing to boast about but nothing much to moan about either - and has grown into a generally cheerful toddler. I found it hard going at first, but managed to avoid PND. We won't know for sure unless we ttc, but there are no apparent reasons why we would not be able to do so again. It would be a bit of a strain financially (and logistically), but ultimately we could afford two if we wanted to do so.
Mentally, though, there are reasons. We are very happy as we are, and loving the toddler phase. We have managed to balance spending a lot of time with DC and as a family, while still working in jobs we enjoy and find fulfilling and finding a bit time for each other and for friends. I feel like there is a brilliant but delicate balance here - a pyramid which can easily be toppled, and I am not willing to give up on any of the elements. I did not enjoy being pregnant or giving birth; I found the early baby days really hard and am not sure how well I would cope mentally doing it all again with the added pressures of another child to look after.
The main reason for having another one, in my current mind, ultimately boil down to giving DC a play mate and someone to share life with later. Not a given by any means, as I know enough people who don't get on with their siblings and have even lost touch altogether. Oh, and to conform to society's expectations. Sigh. But I do wonder how I will feel in 5 years' time.
The background, so as not to drip feed. I was an only child, and was quite lonely. However, I think this was down to a lot more than just being an only child. My mother was an only parent, and not very sociable. I did not spend much time with other kids until I went to school. We never went on holiday with others, didn't often have people round, etc. None of those things apply to our family, and DC has been very happily going to nursery for several years. DH has a sibling, and they are very close now. However, he did feel somewhat deprived of parental attention, which he thinks may not have been the case as an only.
So, ultimately, as my title asks, are there are any mumsnetters out there who had the choice to have more but chose to stick with one? Are you still happy with that decision or did you live to regret it - or indeed decide to reverse it later?