What's wrong with only wanting one?

[PumpkinPie2013]

Just getting fed up of people's reaction when I/we say we won't be having anymore dc

We have a ds who is 8 months old. He is wonderful and we both adore him. Like all babies he can be demanding and hard work at times but is generally brilliant!

However, I didn't have the easiest pregnancy and had a very long and traumatic delivery ending with an emcs under GA.

If I had another I'd need an elcs which I really don't want. I have a back problem which isn't helped by pregnancy.

So, we have decided to stick with our ds. We are very lucky to have him and are very grateful.

However, other people always seem to ask 'when are you having another?' and when I say 'we are happy with ds and don't want another dc' I get looked at like I'm from another planet

I would never dream of questioning someone else's family planning or the number of children they want/don't want!

Has anyone else chosen to have one child? There must be someone else?

[Mumof3xox]

I haven't personally

But the way I see it people always see fit to comment on the life choices of others

Just in the way you feel critisized for having had only one dc those of us with a few often get comments too "your done now though" "3 is more than enough" etc

Ignore ignore ignore

Your life. Your family. Your choice

[Norfolknway]

I have 2.

But that seemed right for me.

I don't think I want more, but you never know what might happen in years to come.

It seems people don't ask you if you're having more if you have a boy and a girl! Dodged that bullet

[jaynebxl]

If you only want one then you stick to your guns. Personally I hated being an only child and would never have considered sticking at one if I could help it but lots of people have more positive experiences than me.

[shushpenfold]

Nothing at all. The reason why people get upset with the decision is because it's seen as a decision which could be positive for you but negative for the child (in their eyes) and hence they want to give an opinion.

[mamalovesmojitos]

Nothing at all wrong with one. People spend far too much time worrying about the size of families IMO. Some people only have one, whether it's because they cannot conceive more, they can't afford more, they don't want more, their health can't cope, they're single after a relationship breakdown (like me). I cannot believe how many people have an opinion on the number of other peoples children .

Some only children say they love it, some that they hate it, some people are completely estranged from their siblings, some people are from big happy families. You can't predict how life will turn out. I worry about my parenting, my child's education, her social development, her health, I focus on creating a loving, happy, safe home, creating happy memories, living full lives. I do not worry about her being an only, and I don't think you should either .

[Misfitless]

I have a mix of friends with onlies..some are completely happy with one - they never wanted any, but love having one.

Another friend has an inner sadness that she only has one, as she wanted more but couldn't due to health reasons.

I had an only for 9 years, and then went onto have 3 more. I honestly get asked more now, than I did when I only had one !

I think you might well be surprised when your DS starts school, at just how many onlies there are. It's not that unusual anymore.

I know what you mean, it does get a bit tiresome when you are asked over and over, I remember that, but I am as guilty as the next person of asking people with young children.

I don't ask to offend or judge, I ask because I'm nosy interested, and genuinely find the whole, number of children, age gaps, being pregnant fascinating. Making a mental note to stop asking.