Don't think I can accept having only one

[LilyPilley]

My DD is now 2.4 and I find myself yearning for another. My DD was a particularly difficult baby and in many ways is still is a challenge. The whole experience of being parents was not what we expected (though we wouldn't change it), and I don't think anything could have prepared us. Our marriage took such a strain and I still feel like we're not where we were before DD. Somehow I think my husband resents our DD for changing our lives so dramatically and more so for taking all my attention by being exceptionally difficult and needy. I know he doesn't want another after his experience, he's made that clear, but I can't seem to come to peace with the fact that this may be my one and only child...

Anyone had to accept an only child when they secretly felt different?

In an ideal world I'd have more than just my DD but for a few reasons we can't have more and it looks like I'm going through the perimenopause so I've accepted that she's all we'll have. I know it's cliched but I'm happy that she's healthy and I'm making the most of life with her.

Thanks Owl. I am grateful and treasure my time with her, and I know you're right to remind me to be thankful for what I have. I just struggle to let go of the notion of two children. Most of all, I don't want to wish I had had another in my old age.

My DD1 was 9 when DC2 was born. I treasured DD1 and our time together, but I felt an emptiness when I used to think she would be an only child. That feeling never left me tbh, until I had DC2. For 8 years I genuinely believed that she would be an only. I check the one-child families thread as often as the larger families thread because I had an only child for so long.

I wanted a second child, but it didn't happen, initially because DH was reluctant, then when I finally persuaded him to try for a second it just didn't happen. I still have pangs of wanting another, but most of the time I am happy with what I have got and try to focus on all the positives of it. As owl said, we are so lucky to have a healthy child, so many people don't get that. I also find I don't find parenting particularly difficult or stressful with just one. I find I treasure each stage, as I know I will only get to experience it once, and I have time and money to do much more than if I'd had another child.