Hi - I'll try to cut a long story short!
I have a 4yr old DS with my ex husband. The birth was very traumatic and for the first year DS was in and out of hospital with kidney problems. On reflection I also had unsupported, undiagnosed PND. DS' kidney infections are now managed but my ExH left us when DS was 14 months old. It was horrible/affair (they broke up and she has a baby he has never seen!). Bringing up to now.....ExH has weekly DS every Wednesday and we are amicable (I've worked hard to be so for the sake of DS). ExH has a stable relationship nearby with a woman who seems nice enough and has 3 children that keep DS company. DS seems to like them all. DS has some problems with communication and speech which has been stressful as support has been dire - this is ongoing. He is due to start school in Sept :/
Due to all of the above plus tight finances and the fact that I work full time (this is not flexible however I work in a school so hours can be managed so I can get away pretty early and have the holidays which is a blessing) I had always felt confident in my decision to stay with having one child. I am also 37.
I am now in a stable relationship (has been 2 years now). We live together and he adores DS taking an active role in his upbringing. DP has no children and to be honest hasn't had a long term relationship until he met me. He loves us and would be happy to stay as we are but we both have a niggling feeling about having a child. Part of me would love that and I can't stop thinking about it BUT all of the above weighs heavily. I know many people have babies with second partners and I'm not criticising in any way at all but I'm scared that if things don't work out again, I'll be a struggling single mum with two children by two dads. I just can't stop thinking about it!!!!!
Sorry for the long post and really don't mean to offend at all. Thanks x