help! so confused

[plexi321]

i have one son (5) who's been, and is a great little boy, pnd and colic aside, he's been fantastic to parent. am feeling very broody now, but the cons of having another outweigh the pros.

sorry if this seems cold and clinical, but we've been back and forth on this so much it really has come down to that!

the only pro is having another little person, who's part me and my husband....

the cons list is...
my age, 40
pnd, and all the baby insanity, lack of sleep and all that
had bells palsy with 1st, most likely happen again
cost, can we really afford another, and will we be depriving the 1st of opportunities. that said i'm only now going to go back to work, so having another will delay that a couple more years.
no family near, was the same with the 1st and it was v.hard
most who know me say one's enough (nice eh!)

as i write this all signs point to no, but i can't help that small niggle of "but it would be another little one" aghhhhh what to do!! please any advice or experiences similar most welcome.....thanks

This must be so hard for you to have these little niggles, you poor thing!

BUT... To be cold and clinical, just like you have, I think that 99 times out 100 in matters like this, it's actually vital to have pros and cons. We can't always do what we want and have what we want, and for some reason this always goes by the wayside when it comes to having children.

You have a lot of cons - practically, physically and emotionally, it doesn't appear to be a good idea. If it were me, that's what I'd go with.

However, you will have loads of people telling you to "follow your heart" and "you won't regret it" and TBH, they'd also be right, as I can't think of many people who would regret the life of a child! So really, it's down to you!

Just realised ^ that's not really helpful, is it?!!

no it's always helpful. practical head says no, but emotional head says yes! bleurgh, i wonder if i would feel different if there wasn't a time limit and all?

I'm in the same situation as you.........keep flipping this over and over in my head! Had terrible pregnancy, was very ill afterwards, DD was terribly sick and spent a long time in neonatal and we swore never again.

5 years later, we're niggling it over.......do we, don't we. My DH doesn't really want another, but I think I might. I could have written your post word for word really, and have no idea what to do.

Currently, I'm thinking of making a double appt with my GP to discuss the medical worries I would have and taking it from there.

I hate feeling like this, worry so much about making the wrong decision.