I had my beautiful baby boy in November.
As soon as we entered the hospital,everything went wrong....
On the Thursday night that we entered, they wanted to send me home but my pressure were dangerously too high and pulse were scarily high.... They put me in every ward possible to think off for 5 days... Edwin was due 7days before this, so I was quite fed up!
After 5 days, and ed not moving, they decided to induce me, we then went to the lift to get things started but every time we packed our bags and were by the lift, we were told, sorry not enough staff, you will have to wait... This happened not once, twice but 10times.... I was exhausted. Not to mention they had forgotten I was in hospital and never gave me lunch, and thought my name was Louise not Louisa, which a little mistake, but huge when your feeling crap, hungry and knowing you could be poorly during birth, which was all I got, every time a nurse took my pressure.
I was then induce, waters burst and ed was still chilling for 4 hours. During this time, I sat there in pain, no gas and hour, 8cm and then nurses dealing with a computer, that acted like a midwife. Every time, I felt like I needed to push, she just said, no, dont push.... This happend for 5 hours....
Then they decided I would need a c section now, as baby was getting distressed..
I sat on the bed, waiting for the epidural... "what is her blood like?"they asked, nurse said, I don't know, think her p,athletes are fine... My hubby piped up, she has low platelets we found this out during pregnancy. "ok" he said, "we need to to do some more tests, as you may not be able to have a c section after all."
Anyway another hour later, still no gas and air, ok your low, but I've done lower, let's go for it... All your feel is the needle going in, that's it.... Anyway to cut a long story short, I could feel everything, and have a curved spine, he couldn't get it in. 3 x's later, he said he needed 'fresh eyes' and was going to get some one else to do it. By this time, I was going mad, a lady came in, and went straight in....
Edwin, was born, and everything seemed to be ok, after me having a moment of low stats in the room, we thought phew, that's it....
After returning feeling dreadful, now being there in a week, I had my baby, but still wasn't right. My pulse was still on hi risk, blood pressure was sky high and I was bleeding lots... I cried in the hall way when asking why I still wasnt getting fed... The midwife hugged me and said "omg, you've got the needle still in your back.!" she ran so quickly, I knew something was up...
Eventually I got it taken out, 2 days after ed was born, loads of people came round to see if I could move, forms to fill in etc etc... I was distraught, I couldn't move and then my husband then told me, the man who couldn't get the needle in my back, went outside and said to the doctor, the first one I knew wasn't in, the second I thought was, and the third one, I thought I had paralysed her!!!! How he kept strong I do not know....
Anyway, after being in their for weeks I then went to an after care hospital, and then had a further 3 more infections and was on 30 tablets a day, milk stopped, health visor said I was not doing my thing as a mum if I could not feed him, and totally made me feel dreadful..
Anyway 3 months on, I have been getting flash backs and I have no feeling in my foot, just pins and needles, and now my neck and spine were the needle was in, goes funny, like a nerve lock...
I never wanted to have just one, but am so scared about the next time, what if it all goes wrong ,, what if the needle does hurt me more next time?
Sorry this is a huge post, just the first time I've spoken about it, my midwife says I should go to counciling for traumatic births, but I dont know if it will help me....