Tearoom 25 - Benvenute a Venezia!

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YOu find us this time in a glorious palazzo in Venice, near to St. Mark's square, and on the water. With gondolas and vaporetti in abundance to transport us around to the various sights etc.

The palazzo itself of course has marble floors and fabulous murano chandeliers but aside of that we have the usual distressed chintz comfy sofas, assorted animals, bishops in their corner, priesthole for emergencies and a single solitary aspidistra in a bomb-proof glass cage to protect it from the ravages of a certain Canadian.

All are welcome - drop by for a cuppa, a glass of something stronger and a chat and relax in the safe and kind surroundings here.

Cin cin!

ok, I have done some reading back, sorry to be elusive

Would love curry and Wilton House, but plans will have to be by PM for me, since I have seemingly totally lost all access to The Other Place. I wasn't too worried about truanting til Maud minded,,,, but then Girl is older so school is more serious....

Serpernt- re death, we say that all the energy of life remains and is contained and spreads hither and thither - like the wind. So now, having scattered the ashes of the late great OxHound OxBoy always looks around to see whether Hound is now a tree or a fir cone etc. I have just tried to answer all the questions honestly. Life couldn't exist without death - we are all in a process of ebb and flow, that is natural and we shouldn't mind.

But Wriggle seems to react to things with great fears - I am remembering her ghost/spook horrors, she is intensely feeling so prosaic answers may not always help her....

oxeye, I've PMed you.

If anyone's near London a week on Sat, I'm playing in St James' Piccadilly 7.30pm (in an orchestra) .... [finishes shameless publicity]

Ds was bf last thing at night up to 22 mo (sorry Scout (sad)) which was the last feed to be dropped - we swapped that with a cuddle and a story and didn't replace the 'feed' - he was eating and drinking plenty the rest of the time so didn't really need it. I was more worried about teeth than anything else. Being prone to overweight issues (as is dh) we've been very careful with ds - one of the things we're ensuring is that he knows that he doesn't have to ever clear his plate - as long as he's had a good go he can still have pudding (which is usually yoghurt and something so not exactly decadent) - he's not thin, and neither is he slim - but he's solid and not chubby, so I hope we're striking a good balance. Its very difficult though!

Good morning all, could I please be very trivial and, in typical JM fashion, a bit vain and shallow :( and ask for your advice over here? It is not at all an important issue, only to me, and I feel a bit stupid now. I asked for kind advice (I know, what a dumb thing to do on MN these days... it seems a bit, I don't know, aggressive right now?) and have gotten some of that, but also a lot of "FGS get over yourself" and I guess I want to check to see if you folks, who know me rather better than the rest of MN think so too. In which case I will do my best to get over myself :o

The Jack/Lotus household is all coughing for Canada. DH developed laryngitis this week and then some sort of fluey thing (no, not the man flu this time), JB still has a cough from two months ago and now I have this irritating dry cough and feel icky. :(

I responded JM. But I am not sure you are going to like my response. Sorry.

Principles are great though! Stick to them! And ignore most of MN. They are very crabby lately!!!!

JM - I don't think that you're being at all OTT about the whole thing. If anything I would suggest to you that the thing that you really want to do is to say to her that, as much as you love the look of the jacket, its just your colour and the style suits you perfectly, and in normal circumstances you would be wearing it every day, you feel that you can't and give her the reasons. If I had someone that was a good friend that did similar to me - said how good a choice it was in all but one aspect which is a principal - I would respect that. I would want to know why - and would follow it up myslef - but as long as there were good reasons it would not affect my friendship (I hope). Its not quite the same as the 'being cooked food' issue because someone's actually slaved over a stove for that - you will not forget your thoughts just because it was a gift and you'll probably think of it everytime you wear it rather than thinking what a considerate gift it was. I hope that helps?

Very quickly .... On balance, I agree with the posters who said that it was your friend who was endorsing the company (and adding to their profits) by buying the jacket, JM, not you. I can't stand any clothing with a conspicuous logo and hate the feeling of being a walking billboard (and would hate it even more if it was a company I disliked)* but I think that, in the cirumstances, your approach of wearing the jacket and shrugging off any comments is the best one. Anything else would be to reject a gesture of kindness, which I think has to be the most important of all the principles here.

And, yes, people were rude and snippy. And, actually, perhaps the world needs a bit of whoo just at the moment.

Is it o'clock yet in Canada?

• I seriously spent time wondering how to get the designer logo off my otherwise inoffensive specs

Mistle, I'm afraid I don't think I'd do that.

I think if it were me who had given the present and then found that it was morally unacceptable, I would feel so awful that I would go away and hide and avoid my offended friend. I would therefore expect your friend to do the same. However, she is probably not such a wimp. If I were you, I'd wear it - it exists now, so how can not wearing it make any difference to the company - and then 'discover' the company's terrible habits and share this with your friend in an 'oh isn't it dreadful, that beautiful jacket comes from this terrible place. Who would have thought it?' sort of way.

But then, what do I know? No one has ever given me a beautiful new piece of clothing.

A friend once pointed out that the Caro drink I offered her was made by Nestle, which I hadn't noticed. I did think that some people who don't have to go out to work have time to read labels rather than just rushing round the shops at top speed. I told that I too don't approve of Nestle, which is true.

Serpent's plan sounds like the ideal combination of cunning and honesty, executed in the right order. It just occurred to me that another important principle here is not allowing a perfectly serviceable (in fact, better than that) piece of clothing to go to waste. The West over-consumes enough resources as it is.

Thanks for your input :)
I will wear the jacket, as I said repeatedly on the thread, and have thanked my friend, as I said repeatedly on the thread -- I may very well do the "OMG look at this article about lululemon" as Serpent suggested.

Ok, I'm glad it's not just me who thinks that MN is a bit, erm, harsh these days. That'll teach me to stick to the tea room.

Maybe I'm naive but I do always wonder why people feel it's acceptable to be complete cows to someone on a forum. I know scottishmummy, for example, likes to use the excuse of "it's just words on a screen, dear", but - and maybe I'm wrong - it's more than that. Just look at the tea room. Some of us have met and hopefully more of us will meet and that means we're more than just words on a screen, doesn't it? We all care about each other and take care with each other's feelings. At least I think we do.

Maybe I'm taking this too far, but the world is a really tiny place. You never know whom you're ever going to meet. How horrible would it be to be sent on a work trip and meet someone professionally, and chat about whatever and find that this person, whom you're obligated to work with, is someone who you've been a (sorry to swear) kucking funt to on MN? Or vice versa.

I'm just contemplating this because when I was in chiro college, one of our instructors made a very important point: that as health care professionals, we have no control over who comes to see us. So if, for example, on our drive to (at that time) the outpatient clinic, someone cuts us off, and we stick our hand down the window and give them the finger... how horrible would it be to arrive at the clinic, meet a new patient and find out that that's the person we gave the finger to?

I still think of that when I'm on the way to work and someone drives as though they got their license in a crackerjack box. Probably a good thing to contemplate or I might turn into a very vocal driver :o

But I digress... as usual... if someone finds my mind, please bring it back to me, it's too tiny to be out wandering by itself.

Must get going and get something useful done today. It's Friday so I'll be busy again all weekend (yoga teacher training) so if you don't see me around that's why. Have a great weekend everyone. xxJM

It's early but I need some.

Yes please.
::Unis passes over her glass to be filled to the top::

Aaaaah!
A well deserved glass of carrot wine.
A find vintage too.
Thankyou Scout

I have just looked at our local election result.

I know that the Lib-Dems have never been popular round here, but they got just 293 votes out of a turn out of nearly 8000!

Mind you we didn't see a single piece of Lib-Dem publicity beforehand, no leaflets or placards.

A fine vintage

(I blame the wine, Hic!)

How's International Donkey Week going, Donki?

I never knew the world had so many carrots Scout
And an old friend (old flame!) sent me a link to a YouTube video about a Wonky Donkey - it was hilarious.

Somehow TS seems to have sprouted a third molar in the last 24 hours. I almost wish he'd tell me these things!

Mmmm, carrots....

Good evening and cheers!

Thank goodness it's Friday! Carrot wine sounds rather nice actually.

Hi all: As usual I am unable to catch up with you all properly, so will send much love and hugs to all as a general beginning. Also as usual I do wish I could be around more, but time differences and work just keep getting in the way.

Newname JM: you aren't over reacting. I think you are being thoughtful in considering how to receive a gift [any gift] that you don't want/like. My answer would be very Mexican (ie designed to save face): that is to say, give profuse thanks for the item and then hide it away for a year or so without wearing it, then donate it to someone else or a charity shop.

Serpent: on the death thing, I sympathise. I have been mulling over this question quite a bit, given our situation. Kittenito started asking questions about "where people go when they die" a few weeks ago. He has also taken to pointing at the lorries of horribly armed soldiers and police that patrol the streets and telling me that there are the men that kill people. We have been very careful not to discuss the violence in front of him and don't have the tv news on when he is around. But, even at the tender age of 3 in the nursery he is learning about it from his friends. And sadly by the reality of the situation which means that at nursery the children are taught and practise what to do in case of a gun or grenade attack.
I have chosen the realistic answer that people who die are buried. Then their relatives can go and visit them if they like and leave presents at the grave. This satisfied his curiosity for now, but just like Wriggle, he is going through what I hope is a phase of being scared of lots of things.

I realised today where I am in Small Bean's 'pecking order'...

SB: "Mummy, I love you"
Me: "That's lovely sweetheart, I love you too"
SB: "No, mummy - I love Duke"
Me: "Oh, that's nice"
SB: "But I like you mummy"

Therefore, (tongue in cheek) in our house I assume that I come somewhere after small diecast trains and chocolate buttons. If I include DH I am guessing that curry and football also come first.

So, where are you in your family's pecking order???

I think I fall somewhere under Bunny, Swimming, Cheerios and Peas but above bedtime and having his bottom changed.