Am joining in the general 
re churches actively excluding people with autism, or sending hate mail. Sorry about the emoticon overload. Like Serpent and OmJM, am in the dark as to why they should do this but I suppose you get horrible bullies in the church just like anywhere else.
In fact, we know quite a lot of stuff that was never, ever sanctioned by Jesus goes on in churches, certainly has in the past. A friend of miine was telling me last week about how she had found out some years down the line that a "cool" young priest from her parish was exposed as a paedophile, and that the response was merely that he was sent to another diocese at the other end of the country, presumably to carry on ruining young people's lives. Interesting what you said too, Scout, about sadly not being surprised.
Not meant to be a church bashing moment - I am very aware that injustice and abuse of power and bullying are sadly universal and can flourish in just about any environment, and atheists can be just as hypocritical and wrong as these un-Christian Christians - and am aware that many churches do a lot of good - but it is still always heartbreaking that these things that shouldn't go on in places/institutions that should be a kind of sanctuary, particularly for the most vulnerable, nonetheless do.
But it is a fact of life, very unfortunately - I used to be terribly idealistic about how everyone and everything was capable of redemption and transformation, but nowadays am not so sure. Still fairly idealistic, but I do think that some people/situations are genuinely beyond the point of turning around - for the foreseeable future, anyway - and that it is better be aware of quite how bad some people are/can be, and respond accordingly, rather than trying to see the good in them and wanting to connect that way. And that includes people who are not obviously dangerous or evil, people who believe themselves to be basically good and present themselves as such - but who nonetheless are capable of hurting others with great cruelty.
I don't mean by that that I'm advocating giving up on trying to right wrongs, btw; but more accepting what you're up against and directing your energy where it can actually make a difference - and doing what you can to protect yourself from those who you shouldn't need to protect yourself from, but do. That's my take on it anyway.
Theory-expounding aside, I am genuinely sorry that you have had/have these experiences Amber: as someone who merely wishes to participate in the community of church and as a committed Christian (I think you are, is that right?) it must be very upsetting for you to encounter this discrimination and bullying.
Catita, you are also in my thoughts, after what you wrote about the situation where you live. It must be horrific to be living under that threat the whole time and I'm wishing you and your family a safe and speedy exit from there. Would you ever consider moving back to the UK? Or is that just not feasible for MrH workwise?
Now for a little something uplifting - time for the divine Ella Fitzgerald to take us - and thanks for the Bazza, Scout! A veritable tune-meister, that man...