working moms what do you do with an only 10 year old ds in school hols

[mindscape]

Just wondering ds is an only he is 10 years old.
He is a bit shy sensitive sort of child and there are no cousins, of his own age in the family.
I work casual hours and do plenty of work whilst ds is at school as I really need the money and I feel fine about that whilst he is at school he enjoys school goes to after school clubs etc.
However come school holidays I am at a loss with him as although I can cut down my hours a bit I still need a certain amount of income.
He is funny about going to holiday schemes and then I have the problem of getting him to them when I am in work very early.
Although I have the odd one or two mom friends I am not on the sort of basis of where I can send him to them they have there own commitments anyway.
My only bet is my elderly parents with no car and although ds will go he does get bored there.
I feel pretty awful really about the whole thing so I end up barely working that many hours and then struggle financially.
I usually end up having mates over for him and spending money when really I should be working.
I am torn between needing money and my duties to ds.
Please is anybody in a similar situation.

I have posted this in onlies as I am thinking it may be different for sibling families as maybe older ones look after younger ones look out for each other etc, someone to play with occupy them etc.

I do have a partner by the way he works fulltime

.

I was going to ask about your partner.

DP and I share out holiday cover equally. We take the majority of our holiday time in relays, reserving one or two weeks for joint family holiday. It is equally his responsibility to drop DS at any activities or friends.

We do have a good reciprocal arrangement with DS's school friends - important to cultivate friendships - I woh f/t, so do mmy share fo sahms in babysitting or having all thier children to play at weekends and taking my fair share of after school play dates when i can. But DP also takes his fair share in this.

They all seem to prefer to go to holiday camps / activities if a friend from school is also going, so ask around and see if any of his school friends would like to go to any camps on offer- they may be resistant to going at first, but a bit of pressure and then they should find they settle in and it's good for them to make new friends.

If you need to drop work and income to cover hols, then again your partner needs to take due consideration of this and be supportive.

But there is no magic answer to this - not without compromise. And they do need company, and even children with siblings need / prefer some time with peers and freinds rather than siblings (see the number of threads at the end of the holidays by parents driven to distraction by squabbling siblings, desparate for schoo to start again), so bite the bullet and propose to some of your parent-friends that you will take thier children for a day if they can have yours for another. Or suggest you can drop off or pick up from hold projects if thier child would also like to go.

I guess you need to work with him to find a holiday club that he wants to go to - drama, arts, dance, sport, sailing, whatever is on in your area get all the details and sit him down and say 'I need to work x days each week, what are you going to go to'. He's old enough to understand the reality of that.

My ds is only 4, but loves holiday club, just because it lets him play with his friends in a way he couldn't do otherwise

Blu's advice is spot-on, I think.

My dd is slightly younger than your ds. We take as much holiday as we cabn over the summer but have to rely on the holiday club for the rest. She's not very enthusiastic about the holiday club before she gets there - it's based near where I work so her school friends aren't there - but she always manages to make friends quickly and by the end of the holiday they're acting as if they've been friends since birth and swapping e-mail addresses.

Would he be any happier with a residential holiday club? Works for us (DD 9).

There's lot sof different kinds of holiday club. Ds goes to a very active one in the summer for the days I have to work. I take as much holiday time off as I can though.

Do you think he might be happier at a child minders who would have fewer children he'd get more used to seeing?

I have a 10 yr old DS and during the long summer hols he too gets bored. If you live near me in Wiltshire I would be happy to help out. I know my young DS would be delighted to have aplaymate.
I have 2 grown up children too who have now left home...so youngest DS is like an only child.
We have 8 weeks here of summer holidays...9th July to Sept 5th or thereabouts.
Where are you?

Wow jellyvodkas your offer was very kind . I'm interested to know if you and mindscape have managed to arrange anything?

BTW... Hello everyone. I'm new to mumsnet. I've spent the last few nights trawling the message boards to see what's going on. I've picked up quite a few good tips already. We're also a guilt ridden one-child-family so I'm sure I'll be spending most of my time in this messasge board.

We also have an 8 year old boy who gets very bored in the long holidays. We are both teachers so off for six weeks but would love him to have a play mate and would be more than happy to help a working mum with child care.
We are in south east London (SE12).
it's a pity there's not a way of lnking up to organise these things.

Do you know any teenagers who would spend time with him ? My DS (10) loves having teenage babysitters (boys) who I sometimes ask to come over in the holidays and take him to the park etc. I think you have to persevere with the holiday clubs - you say your DS is a bit 'funny' about them, does he really hate them? We are fortunate in that our DS loves holiday clubs and although I am not at work do tend to book plenty of clubs so that he is not lonely (or should I say so that I am not tearing my hair out ). Churches often run very nice holiday clubs - might be worth having a look.